LET'S CONNECT >> Book an Intro Consultation with me

transformation

How to hold your inner strength

The more things are being driven into chaos all around us, the more important it is for each of us to be able to draw from our own inner strength. And because there is so much violence and fear that is getting swirled up, it can be difficult to access that kind of strength within ourselves.

Holding (and using) your spiritual strength is like the ability to control your breathing: It is like using all of those small muscles in your torso to draw in a full deep breath, expanding your ribcage and your belly, and to then let your lungs let out the air again, in a steady and controlled stream, until your solar plexus softens and gets ready to draw the next breath in.

Some energetic part of you knows how to pull your inner strength into yourself, how to hold it, and how to then release it and use it, in a very deliberate way.

For some of us, using our spiritual power means to hold our ground in a heated argument and to channel peace – even though we’re scared – and to direct all parties involved towards focusing on a specific solution to a specific problem. 

For some of us, using our spiritual power means to move with our creative instincts and to keep working on a project until it feels right, before we release it – even though fear would rather have us put out a half-finished version, instead, just to be done with it.

For some of us, using our spiritual power means to trust our intuitive senses and to gently hold space when our relationship grids are evolving into a new direction, even when our PTSD triggers would have us fall into fight, flight, freeze or fawn at the slightest sign of distress.

For many of us, it is very difficult to reconnect to that kind of inner strength.

We try to take a deep breath inwards, but our diaphragm keeps trembling, and it feels like our lungs are not filling up the way we would need them to.

And we try to push our fear-based stress responses against an ever-changing world, because we haven’t learned how to trust ourselves.

We can’t remember what it is like to let our spiritual muscles hold us, move us, keep us safe.

Try this

Developing your ability to draw from your inner spiritual strength takes practice. And you won’t be able to get there by yourself. We need each other to become ourselves. So, here are my two cents: A list of transformational practices that can help you hold your inner strength – and if you need support with any of those practices, contact me. It’s what I do. 

  • Develop a daily spiritual practice that makes sense to you, and keep it up.
  • Do the necessary healing work and release as much personal and collective trauma from your system as possible, until you feel like yourself again. This is the most difficult part. And unfortunately, it will cost you: Time, energy, money, sometimes relationships, and many illusions. 
  • Rebuild your personal boundaries – on an energetic level first, and then through action and words. Be mindful of what you will and won’t allow to happen in your relationships with other people, and be as good a friend to yourself as you are a friend to those you love.
  • Learn how to hold your personal space, and use your breath and your intent to regularly center and ground yourself into that line of light that flows up and down your spine, down through the heart of earth, and up through the center of your soul – in an endless loop, going up and down. It is your lifeline to the love and nourishment coming to you from Earth, and it is a direct hotline to your soul’s intuitive wisdom and power.
  • Get clear on who you are, at soul level, and then translate that expertise into your human life. This can be tricky, because we tend to be a bit blind to ourselves. So, find someone who can help you understand yourself. The clearer you get on who you are, the more you will be able to fully engage with your gifts and talents and bring them to life. 
  • Stay focused on your own experience, and stay close to the people you trust.
  • Keep building a world you would like to live in. And find a bigger cause you can support, outside of what you can do, as an individual.
  • Don’t get discouraged if you can “only” work on one single issue to help create a better world. That one single issue will touch many lives. Keep it up. Ask your soul to let you know how you can use your creativity to unfold that one single issue, in the best way possible, and then fill it with life.

Do you need help with any of these practices? Contact me. It’s all part of my work.

Image: One of my Symmetric Light Series pieces: Fresh greenery in front of a concrete wall
©️ Lilly Mackuth 2019

A state of overwhelm

Over the past couple of months, I have taken some time to learn more about nervous system regulation, which can help to address states of shut-down and burn-out, triggered by chronic stress or PTSD.

And the more I learned, the more I could sense the deep feeling of overwhelm that seems to paralyse and frighten so many of us, sending us into low energy states and shut-down, or hightened energy states and burn-out, when it comes to the current developments on this planet. Some call it a “trauma-spell”, and it affects individuals as well as the collective.

We feel overwhelmed when it comes to the current crash of our natural environment, we feel overwhelmed when we observe the current political shifts towards far-right extremism, and on top of it all, there’s the overwhelm that shows up when we face difficulties in our personal lives – in our relationships with others, and in our relationship with ourselves.

And the more I learned about the energetic expressions of that overwhelm, the more I could also sense that working towards establishing a sense of self-trust, equilibrium and solution-orientedness can seem utterly impossible, when you’re in the thick of it.

Which is why, in every one of my client Sessions, I consciously apply Yogic meditative tools at the beginning of each Session (and sometimes throughout) to help my client get into a state of balance and ease, in order to help them tune into their intuitive guidance system.

Because in that state of balance, where we have access to our #innerwisdomsystem – that’s where we can sense-see solutions to what is keeping us shut down, or burned out. That’s where clarity lives.

Some simple self-regulating tools

When you find yourself in such a state of overwhelm, there are two quite simple things you can try: Singing, and dancing. Both singing and dancing can help to regulate low energy states and shut-down (i.e. hypoarousal), as well as hightened energy states and burn-out (i.e. hyperarousal).*

When you’re in a low energy state (i.e. when your autonomic nervous system feels frozen and shut down), your mind may be thinking thoughts like “I don’t know what to do, I don’t know where to start, it’s all too much”. Your body may feel paralysed and your head is probably quite foggy, eyelids heavy, focus: gone.

Try dancing.

It’s the simplest way to bring some warmth into your frozenness. If dancing seems to be too much of a stretch, start by wiggling your toes to a piece of music. HipHop or R&B are perfect for this. Get one part of your body to move to the music, then another. If you can, stand up and rhythmically shift your weight from one leg to the other, and back again. Left and right, left and right. Keep your knees slightly bent, and let your body become one with the rhythm. Keep moving, even if it’s difficult at first. Left, and right. Move for 10 minutes at a time, and see how you feel.

When you’re in a hightened energy state (i.e. when your autonomous nervous system is in fight-or-flight mode, racing towards burnout), you may be thinking thoughts like “There’s so much I need to do, I haven’t done enough, I can’t stop working, I have to do more”, and your body probably feels antsy and restless. Your eyes are wide open (too wide, actually), and your whole system feels stressed. Which is not the kind of mood that would usually have you burst into song. But that’s exactly what can help you get back into a state of equilibrium:

When you start to sing, you start to regulate your autonomic nervous system – if the style you’re singing in elongates your outward breath.

So, find a slow, gentle song that has you singing long phrases on long outward breaths. The mantra Ra Ma Da Sa by Snatam Kaur is perfect for this. Sing along for 10 minutes and see how you feel.

*P.S.: Obviously, these tips do not replace medical care nor therapy or healing modalities. Please contact your medical doctor, your mental healthcare specialist or your spiritual healer if your symptoms persist.

An altruist’s edge

In my coaching practice, I often work with people who are altruists, who are also fantastically good at bringing people together. They are the queens and kings of party-throwing. They plan beautiful projects with dozens of people involved. They see these projects through till the end. And they sacrifice some of their own well-being for the sake of being of service to others. They see where our human society lacks justice, beauty and peace, and then they work hard to literally make this world a better place. They get things done. And they are over-worked and under-nourished when it comes to their heart’s deeper needs and desires.

If this is you, here’s an edge you are carrying around, probably without knowing it: You have such a deep longing for being with other people that you create elaborate experiences for others just so you can connect with with them – at the expense of your own time and energy.

The mere act of bringing people together – by inviting a diverse team of professionals to join you for a new project you just plucked out of your highly creative brain, or by having your friends come sit around your kitchen table at brunch – is highly fulfilling for you.

But the thought that you could connect with others “without a purpose” is probably deeply uncomfortable for you.

Imagine you would meet with someone just to spend time with them.

To have coffee with a friend, with no other agenda than to chat for a while and to feel well in each other’s presence.

And to then not invite that friend over to your place.

To then also not pay for a whole party and invite all of your other friends, too.

To just say to someone: “Hey, I would love to see you. Are you free on Friday?”

And to not have this coffee date be about anything else but connection.

If you are feeling a psychological edge when you imagine going there: Good. Play with that edge. Feel its shape and size, and sense where this experience starts making you feel uncomfortable: As soon as you imagine calling your friend? When you imagine that there’s no deeper meaning behind that date, that you would just like to spend time with them? When you imagine that you won’t be paying for your friend’s coffee, only for the one you are going to have, yourself?

Sense where you have a tendency to over-give, and where you feel uncomfortable around receiving the gift of spending time with someone you love.

And then call your friend anyway.

Let this be awkward.

You are trying something new.

How to get centered and grounded

If you’ve spent a bit of time in the personal development world online, you may have noticed certain buzzwords:

“Centered”, for example.

“Grounded”.

“Aligned”.

“Tuned in”.

For me as an energy worker, all of those terms describe very specific states of being, and they mean very specific processes that I use in all of my Sessions. I’m not so sure if everyone who uses those words online uses them in the same way I do, though. So I thought I’d do a bit of disambiguation work today. Clarify two of those terms out there: “centered”, and “grounded”. And share one of my techniques to help you actually get centered, and get grounded.

Why? Because these two states of being are at the heart of every type of personal development. If you know how to get centered and grounded, you know how to pull yourself into yourself when things are chaotic around you, and you create an opening that lets you access your intuitive wisdom, even when your mind is spinning.

So here goes.

To “be centered”, in my vocabulary, means to clearly experience – and to be in inner conversation with – the essence of your soul, and to somatically feel that you are connected to your eternal self by an energetic stream (aka your “line of light”) that is flowing down to you, coming straight from the center of your soul.

To “be grounded”, in my book, means to have an awareness and a felt sense of the physical experience of living in a human body, and to be able to follow your subtle sensory link to the living organism that gives you life: Earth.

So when I say “to be centered and grounded”, what I mean is that you can sense a pulse, or an energetic stream, flowing through you, alternating between two poles: Your soul above, and the Earth below you. It means to me that you feel safe knowing that you are an eternal being in a physical body, and that you are fully aware of your existence, right here, right now.

Let’s get practical:

There is one specific technique to help you get centered and grounded that uses two chakras located outside of your physical body: Your 9th and your 10th chakras.

The 9th chakra, also known as the “seat of the soul”, is located above your crown.

The 10th chakra, also referred to as the “earth connection”, is located just below you, in the ground.

To me, those two chakras are representatives of your soul and the Earth. Like pocket sized versions of the two, perfectly placed if you want to safely center and ground yourself, using these two chakras as your two poles, above and below.

Try this

Sit down comfortably. If you can, keep your spine nice and tall.

Breathe.

Become aware of those small movements your body naturally makes as you inhale and exhale.

Now, bring your attention inwards, as if you were looking at your heart, and with your inner senses, follow that energetic stream (aka your line of light) that runs from the back of your heart down your spine, into the earth, and into your 10th chakra, below you.

Sense the dense energy, the compactness, the earthiness of that chakra.

Then, follow the energetic stream as it travels back up again, back into your body, up your spine, up and out your crown, and into your 9th chakra, above you.

Sense the shiny quality and the bright light of that chakra.

Keep your awareness on your line of light and sense-see-feel that pulsating loop of energy as it runs up and down between your earth connection below (your 10th chakra), your body in the middle, and the seat of your soul above (your 9th chakra).

Feel that pulse, that flow, that stream, that line of light, as it flows up and down, in an endless loop.

Get a felt sense of your connectedness to both poles, below and above: To your your earthiness below your feet, and to your shininess in the seat of your soul.

Hold your awareness on that pulsating energetic stream for as long as feels comfortable.

What do you notice?

To close, bring your awareness back into your heart, gently focus on the way your body is breathing, feel your feet on the ground, wiggle your toes, and come back to your here and now.

Edited to add: If you’d like to have me guide you through a similar meditation, have a look at this post. Enjoy!

The Love-Trust-Respect Triangle

“Imagine a world where your closest relationships are built on Love-Trust-Respect. Now compare that world to your current reality. What do you see?” – #InnerWisdomSystem

In my work, I often come across an energetic triangle of love, trust and respect. It seems to build a solid foundation for our most precious relationships, and when one of its three building blocks is missing, things tend to feel a bit… wonky.

For example, if you are in a friendship where love is missing, you probably feel like you’re constantly negotiating business deals. Here’s what that could look like: Person C: “If you do X for me, I will do Y for you.” – Person D: “Ok, but only if you promise you won’t do Z in front of everybody.” Exhausting, no?

If you are in a romantic relationship where you don’t trust your partner, you might be suspicious of their motives. Imagine this dialogue: Person A: “Why would you go to that gig without me?” – Person B: “Why would you want to come? You don’t even like that kind of music.” A lack of trust creates this kind of tension. Deep trust would make A and B celebrate their differences.

If you are in a relationship that lacks respect, you won’t see one another clearly, and repeated anger patterns can become part of your conversations. An (exaggerated) version of this could sound like this: Person E: “I love you, I trust you, but really, I think you should be doing something else with your life.” – Person F: “Oh really? Look who’s talking! Like you were only ever happy in your career?!?” Respect sounds different.

Have a look at your closest personal relationships. Are the energies of love, trust and respect all present there? Can you sense that all three would like to support you?

How would you like to increase your capacity for love, trust and respect – within yourself, first, and then, also, within your various relationships?

Your soul has an inner structure

Just as a dry little seed holds the full DNA of a flower, your soul’s innate structure holds all the information on who you are.

A flower’s DNA holds information on how its plant will react to floods or droughts, how it will play with bees and other pollinators, how it will copy its inner system and create new generations of plants, and so on.

It’s a very neutral process of growth, bloom, death and rebirth that plays out every day, right outside our windows.

Similarly, your soul’s inner structure knows who you are.

Its inner wisdom knows how you will react to the societal challenges you grow up in, how you will move through joyful or traumatic experiences, how you will connect with souls that are compatible to yours, how you will give birth to new ideas, etc.

In order to make sense of your soul’s structure, what’s required of you is to learn how to tune in, connect to your soul and download its wisdom. Your body is aware of that wisdom, your heart is, too, but your mind may have its doubts about the details.

And since we live in a very brain-focused world, your mind needs to be made conscious of certain truths within you for you to be able to actively live as yourself.

Try this:

Get yourself into a centered, meditative state and bring your awareness into your line of light, as it flows up and down your spine, down to the heart of earth, and up to the center of your soul, in a never-ending loop.

Once you’re tuned into that line of light, ask your #innerwisdomsystem to send you an energetic image of your soul’s original structure, and receive it through your mind’s eye.

Meditate on that image.

See if you can make out your soul’s colours and inner workings.

Watch how it reacts when other souls are in its vicinity.

Ask your soul some simple questions and fine-tune your inner senses to receive its answers.

What do you notice?

To close, gently focus on the way your body is breathing, feel your feet on the ground, wiggle your toes, and come back to your here and now.

Image:
One of my Symmetric Light Series pieces: Green lichen growing on an old piece of pink concrete
©️ Lilly Mackuth, 2018

How to be angry

Every once in a while, some of my clients will come into my Sessions angry. And I mean fuming. So angry they can hardly speak, because whatever they might want to say would come out wrong.

They are angry because of the political situation they are in.

Angry because their mother said… or because their father didn’t…

Angry because they only just remembered the depth of their relationship trauma.

Or just plain angry because the world is seemingly going to pieces.

Here is what to do when you feel that kind of anger and it’s overwhelming for you: You go deeper.

Try this:

    1. Open up your inner senses. Where in your body do you feel that anger? Is it in your solar plexus, in your heart, in your throat, behind you eyes, your ears, your forehead? Try to locate where it sits in your body.
    2. Then see if you can feel how big your anger is: Grape-sized? Like an orange? A melon? As big as your body?
    3. And now, do the counter-intuitive thing: Make it grow bigger. Breathe into your anger and expand its outer shell by a centimeter. Breathe again. Expand it by another centimeter. Breathe. Expand. Breathe. Expand. Until your anger is as big as it gets while you can still hold it, and not lose its energy. Feel the relief that comes with acknowledging your anger and allow it to just be there.
    4. Now scan your body and see if there’s another emotion in there somewhere. Is there any disappointment? Resignation? Shame? Loneliness? See if you can locate it: Where do you feel that second emotion? How big is it?
    5. While still holding your anger, repeat step 3 with that second emotion: Breathe. Expand. Breathe. Expand. Etc.
    6. At some point, your anger will burst. And your second emotion will burst, too. And the third one, etc.
    7. At the end of this exercise, you should be able to feel yourself in all your complexity. You will notice that you can give room to your emotions without losing yourself. On the contrary: You will feel how your personal sense of self expands. 

This is just the tip of the iceberg, of course. Your anger has messages for you, and until you address those messages, it will probably feel messy and annoying. But allowing your anger to just be, for a moment, is a good start.

You’ve been here before

The patterns you are experiencing in your relationships often date back hundreds of years. You meet and re-meet certain souls again and again, lifetime after lifetime, until you have learned to stay in integrity with yourself, in all of your relationships.

For example, with some souls, you learn how to set boundaries.

With others, you learn how to fall in love.

With others, still, you learn how to collaborate, negotiate, and create new ways of living.

Of course, this also means that meeting some particular souls will make you feel uncomfortable.

Some souls will push you into fighting for your freedom. It is not their intention to set you free, but in a twisted way, they will help you free yourself from manipulation so you can live a self-determined life. Do not allow the bullies, the gas lighters or the violent ones to crush your free will. Look for allies. We are everywhere.

Some souls you will have to deliberately invite into your life so you can learn how to love, even if that means that your vulnerabilities, anxieties and panic attacks will show up uninvited, too. Unfortunately, love doesn’t come if those three can’t come, too.

But, when panic attacks arise and they are triggered by joy, not by trauma, your heart is leading you into the dreams you didn’t dare to dream.

Let the souls who love you, love you, even if it feels almost overwhelmingly glorious.

And then there are souls who will lead you directly into facing your blind spots, and your ego will probably want to freeze and play dead. These souls will help you understand where your cultural biases are, where your privilege has made a comfortable nest for itself, and where you are not taking full responsibility for your actions.

Let this be uncomfortable. Learn. Grow. Let those souls be your teachers.

We live in a time where those ancient, repeated relationship patterns are coming up to the surface. To be examined by the light of day. And to be fully understood.

If you would like to get a soul history perspective and find out what your relationship patterns mean, and how you can transform them, let’s talk. I can help you see clearly.

How to love your differences

There’s a common problem that runs through many (love) relationships: That two people, who are very different from each other, feel stressed by being so different from each other.

Let’s say one of them is very spontaneous, has a thousand ideas, and wants to make every idea a reality, right away – no matter what.

And let’s say their partner is very calm and methodical, likes to plan ahead, and loves to apply their know-how in a very rational, diligent manner.

The problem starts when both of them try to adapt to each other. Person one will feel bad about their ideas, thinking they’re “too spontaneous”, and person two will feel like “the boring one” who constantly “overthinks things”.

The result: They both stop being there for each other, and they both feel like they’re not sexy enough for their partner.

Energetically, there’s a beautiful, elegant solution to this problem.

When you meditatively let yourself drop into the four mystical chambers of your heart, you can get a very direct, embodied experience of how you would really like to play, in your relationships.

(And I don’t mean your sex life – although your heart may give you some very detailed pieces of information about that part, too.)

Energetically, your heart can bring you to a place where you can be you, in a very relaxed way – and where you can keep being yourself, no matter who you’re with.

That’s because your heart deeply supports your individuality, and it can help you embody your individuality, fully.

Which means that once you have gone through this process inside your heart, your partner will experience you just the way you are. In all your glory.

Spoiler alert: You’re going to love being yourself.

If that sounds like something you would like to try:

My new Heart Truth program still has a couple of spots available, so if you would like to

  • get direct access to your inner truth
  • gain deep insights into the four big themes of your heart: Love, Wisdom, Strength and Vision
  • experience profound healing and transformation in these areas of your life
  • learn to love your individuality
  • and lay a foundation for being your own guide in these chaotic times,

my program might be for you.

Registration closes May 15, 2018* (the day after tomorrow).

Here are all the details.

And if you are interested, contact me here. We will start with a non-binding Intro Consultation via Zoom. (You won’t have to create your own account – all you need is a device that lets you do video conferences, e.g. your smart phone or a laptop that has a camera and a microphone.)

I look forward to our first conversation!

New: The Heart Truth Process

It’s launch day!

My new one-on-one coaching program is ready for you! Click here for a short intro video, if you like.

My program, “The Heart Truth Process”, is designed for you to gain direct access to one particular part of your #innerwisdomsystem: Your heart.

Energetically speaking, its four chambers represent four big themes in your life: Love (both romantic and platonic), your Applied Wisdom, your True Strength and the Big Vision of your life.

And the goal of my program is to help you tune into these four chambers and let your heart be your guide when it comes to these four big themes in your life.

So, if that resonates with you, have a look at my new Heart Truths page.

The first 6 one-on-one spots are available for May and June – but before you make a decision, let’s meet for a free, non-binding Intro Conversation where we can get to know each other and you can ask me anything about the program.

All you’ll need for that is a device that lets you do video conferences, i.e. your laptop or a smart phone.

Looking forward to our first conversation!

Search