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Some thoughts on Yogi Bhajan’s transgressions

 
We live in a time where secrets don’t stay secret for too long. Thankfully, this also means that the spiritual scene all over the globe has begun to face its own collective shadows, addressing allegations against some spiritual teachers who seem to have abused their powers and who seem to have violated their student’s boundaries left and right. Sadly, the Kundalini Yoga scene is no exception: About a week ago, a thorough report on Yogi Bhajan’s sexual and spiritual transgressions was released (click here for the link, if you’d like to read it). It’s quite an explicit document, and the ways in which he seems to have abused his position as a spiritual leader to manipulate and mistreat members of his personal staff become quite apparent throughout the report. The document cites both victims as well as people who are trying to rescue his reputation, and interestingly, both sides paint a similar picture, describing his domineering, authoritarian character in detail.

When I began practicing Kundalini Yoga a few years after his death, I didn’t know anything about the man, Yogi Bhajan. I had been looking for ways to deal with chronic pain, and a friend recommended Kundalini Yoga as a type of yoga “that does things to you, energetically, and it’s hard to explain. It just works.” Which was exactly how I experienced it. So, I only ever saw Kundalini Yoga as a collection of energy work tools, and I never followed the religious side of Yogi Bhajan’s teachings. Also, I guess I was lucky to receive my training from teachers who refrained from any kind of cult-like reverence when it came to him as a person.

Reading the report on his transgressions must be hard for those who saw him as their personal guru. Apparently, he was one of those spiritual teachers who didn’t live by his own teachings, and I feel for those who are now questioning everything.

Sexual violence is a beast, and unfortunately, Yogi Bhajan was one of many spiritual teachers who were fascinated by its darkness. I’ve worked with several clients over the years who suffered from abuse at the hands of their own spiritual teachers, and clearly, there’s still a lot of work to be done if we truly want to transmute the energies of sexual violence on this planet.

My heart goes out to all who trusted their spiritual teachers and had their trust betrayed. Life is not fair, sometimes.

#YogiBhajan
#KundaliniYoga
#sexualviolence

Image: A card drawn from Danielle Laporte’s Truthbomb Deck Vol. 1: “Freedom worships inquiry” (no affiliation, not sponsored)

How long until I’m fully healed?

Healing doesn’t happen over night. Until it does.

We evolve in spirals. Arriving at the same point of realisation, again and again. Once you’ve decided to do some inner work, that same realisation will look more polished, and sparklier, and more interesting, after every round. It will start to feel like relief, and crispness, and freedom. Because every time you arrive anew, you will see a new possibility for choosing a sweeter mode of being where there was none, before.

And all of the internal shifts you have taken will have been necessary stepping stones for you to arrive at this exact view point.

And all of the energy blocks you have released along the way will have made lifting yourself up those steps easier and easier.

And all of those late nights when all you could do was to inch your way through this obstacle course called life, will have been life-giving.

As you keep doing your inner work, you will notice how, at some point, an old emotional wound will have healed. As if over night. And you will find that you’ve moved yourself another round up the spiral.

 

 

#innerwisdomsystem
#energywork
#healing

Love and such

Lilly Mackuth How to feel loved Blog Post

Happy Valentine’s, darlings!

Do you know how to feel loved?

If you’re not sure, I’ve got you.

Try this:

Step 1: Center and ground yourself, and get yourself into a meditative state. (Here is a link to a manual, if you’d like one.)

Step 2: Now, ask your Team (i.e. your Guides etc., your Soul and the Earth) to help you sense-see-feel your personal energetic frequency of love. Feel it take up space inside of you, and as you do, notice the various sensations that are coming up in your body: Does love feel like freshness, peace, or expansion to you? Is your body relaxing into it? Does it feel easy for you to hold that energy of love inside of you?

Step 3: Then, ask your Team to release any and all energies from your system that are not yours, but which had been clinging onto your personal perception of love up until now. Ask your Team to completely dissolve those energies for you (since those never authentically belonged to you in the first place). What do you notice?

Step 4: Now do the corresponding opposite of what I just described: Ask your Team to call back all energies which do belong to your own authentic frequency of love – but which had been scattered elsewhere up until now. Ask your Team to fill you up on those (your) energies. What are you sensing?

Step 5: To finish, breathe into your newly refreshed frequency of love, and ask your body to integrate this updated version into your system. Feel the depth of that love. Bask in the beauty of being able to tune into that deeply delicious experience of feeling loved at any given moment.

Bonus: Notice how the feelings you have for the people you really really like naturally match the frequency of love which you just so beautifully expanded within yourself.

 

Sending big Valentine Love!

– Lilly

 

 

#relationshipping
#energywork

  

On being in relationship with money

(Excerpt from a recent client Session, shared with permission)

Look at your relationship with money as having three dimensions:

One, there’s your overall relationship with money. That’s your general “feel” for it, and your personal history with it, which has been developing over many lifetimes and which will have given you experiences spanning across the whole spectrum – from starving-poor to beautifully-well-off.

Two, there’s the practical dimension: That’s your ability for making money, and your preferences for implementing certain business models (if you’re self-employed) or for taking on certain jobs you feel drawn to. This includes your desires on how you want to be spending your money. Oddly enough, this dimension is very closely linked to who you are at soul-level: The energetic structure of your soul can tell you a lot about the practical realities that exist between you and money. 

And three, there are your personal edges when it comes to money. Those edges might be quite subtle, like that small flame of anger that sends a waft of smoke through your system when it’s time to do your book-keeping, and you just don’t feel like doing it. Our personal edges usually form around the tasks we absolutely have to do in order to keep our money flow going, and we may never actually like doing them. But they are a reality, and the act of regularly overcoming those edges can become a natural habit. Like brushing your teeth. 

There’s a lot of energy work that can be done in order to clean up all three dimensions, and all three can become beautifully clear for you. Ideally, throughout this process, you will notice that you start to feel better about money in general (dimension one), you will fall in love with the way you are making money (dimension two), and you will regularly engage in a passionate dance with your personal money edges, swirling around the flames of your emotional fires together (dimension three).

Which money dimension feels easy and flow-y to you?

Which one feels just about ok?

Has one of those dimensions been leaving you feeling hopeless?

How could you start engaging with that particular money dimension in a new way, this year?

 

#energywork
#innerwisdomsystem
#intuitiveguidance
#money 

Healing your inner children

Healing yourself can start by healing your younger selves. Give your inner children – of all ages – the love and care and truth and beauty they were missing, growing up. Take their needs seriously, and let them share their strengths with you.

Ask your inner two-year-old about boundaries. She knows all about that No.

Let your inner four-year-old show you how her Guides, Angels and Healing Beings are helping her cope, in this strange world we are living in.

Let your inner seven-year-old decide who she wants to be friends with. She knows how to read her heart.

Ask your inner 12-year-old if she would like to share her deep thoughts with you.

And let your inner 17-year-old tell you about all the ways she would like to express her soul and herself.

Here’s another sweet practice you can try:

Use your imagination to build each of your younger selves a new home, and let them furnish and decorate their new places in any way they choose. Don’t judge them for what they want to put into their new rooms, and watch how they express themselves through interior design. See how they carefully place their most cherished items within reach, and sense-see-feel how much love goes into each decision. Let them make themselves comfortable, and give them room to explore and to change anything they like, as often as they like.

It’s your imagination, where everything is possible – and where your younger selves can fully be themselves.

Enjoy!

 

If you need any help with this, let’s work together.
Helping your younger selves heal is part of what I do.

 

#emotionalhealing
#innerwisdomsystem

A state of overwhelm

Over the past couple of months, I have taken some time to learn more about nervous system regulation, which can help to address states of shut-down and burn-out, triggered by chronic stress or PTSD.
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And the more I learned, the more I could sense the deep feeling of overwhelm that seems to paralyse and frighten so many of us, sending us into low energy states and shut-down, or hightened energy states and burn-out, when it comes to the current developments on this planet. Some call it a “trauma-spell”, and it affects individuals as well as the collective.
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We feel overwhelmed when it comes to the current crash of our natural environment, we feel overwhelmed when we observe the current political shifts towards far-right extremism, and on top of it all, there’s the overwhelm that shows up when we face difficulties in our personal lives – in our relationships with others, and in our relationship with ourselves.
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And the more I learned about the energetic expressions of that overwhelm, the more I could also sense that working towards establishing a sense of self-trust, equilibrium and solution-orientedness can seem utterly impossible, when you’re in the thick of it.
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Which is why, in every one of my client Sessions, I consciously apply Yogic tools at the beginning of each Session (and sometimes throughout) to help my client get into a state of balance and ease, in order to help them tune into their intuitive guidance system.
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Because in that state of balance, where we have access to our #innerwisdomsystem – that’s where we can sense-see solutions to what is keeping us shut down, or burned out. That’s where clarity lives.

Some simple self-regulating tools

When you find yourself in such a state of overwhelm, there are two quite simple things you can try: Singing, and dancing. Both singing and dancing can help to regulate low energy states and shut-down (i.e. hypoarousal), as well as hightened energy states and burn-out (i.e. hyperarousal).*
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When you’re in a low energy state (i.e. when your autonomic nervous system feels frozen and shut down), your mind may be thinking thoughts like “I don’t know what to do, I don’t know where to start, it’s all too much”. Your body may feel paralysed and your head is probably quite foggy, eyelids heavy, focus: gone.
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Try dancing.
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It’s the simplest way to bring some warmth into your frozenness. If dancing seems to be too much of a stretch, start by wiggling your toes to a piece of music. HipHop or R&B are perfect for this. Get one part of your body to move to the music, then another. If you can, stand up and rhythmically shift your weight from one leg to the other, and back again. Left and right, left and right. Keep your knees slightly bent, and let your body become one with the rhythm. Keep moving, even if it’s difficult at first. Left, and right. Move for 10 minutes at a time, and see how you feel.
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When you’re in a hightened energy state (i.e. when your autonomous nervous system is in fight-or-flight mode, racing towards burnout), you may be thinking thoughts like “There’s so much I need to do, I haven’t done enough, I can’t stop working, I have to do more”, and your body probably feels antsy and restless. Your eyes are wide open (too wide, actually), and your whole system feels stressed. Which is not the kind of mood that would usually have you burst into song. But that’s exactly what can help you get back into a state of equilibrium:
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When you start to sing, you start to regulate your autonomic nervous system – if the style you’re singing in elongates your outward breath.
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So, find a slow, gentle song that has you singing long phrases on long outward breaths. The mantra Ra Ma Da Sa by Snatam Kaur is perfect for this. Sing along for 10 minutes and see how you feel.
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*Obviously, these tips do not replace medical care nor therapy or healing modalities. Please contact your medical doctor, your mental healthcare specialist or your spiritual healer if your symptoms persist. 
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#innerwisdomsystem

Photo: hybrid via Unsplash

How to get centered and grounded

If you’ve spent a bit of time in the personal development world online, you may have noticed certain buzzwords:
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“Centered”, for example.
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“Grounded”.
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“Aligned”.
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“Tuned in”.
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For me as an energy worker, all of those terms describe very specific states of being, and they mean very specific processes that I use in all of my Sessions. I’m not so sure if everyone who uses those words online uses them in the same way I do, though. So I thought I’d do a bit of disambiguation work today. Clarify two of those terms out there: “centered”, and “grounded”. And share one of my techniques to help you actually get centered, and get grounded.
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Why? Because these two states of being are at the heart of every type of personal development. If you know how to get centered and grounded, you know how to pull yourself into yourself when things are chaotic around you, and you create an opening that lets you access your intuitive wisdom, even when your mind is spinning.
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So here goes.
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To “be centered”, in my vocabulary, means to clearly experience – and to be in inner conversation with – the essence of your soul, and to somatically feel that you are connected to your eternal self by an energetic stream (aka your “line of light”) that is flowing down to you, coming straight from the center of your soul.
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To “be grounded”, in my book, means to have an awareness and a felt sense of the physical experience of living in a human body, and to be able to follow your subtle sensory link to the living organism that gives you life: Earth.
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So when I say “to be centred and grounded”, what I mean is that you can sense a pulse, or an energetic stream, flowing through you, alternating between two poles: Your soul above, and the Earth below you. It means to me that you feel safe knowing that you are an eternal being in a physical body, and that you are fully aware of your existence, right here, right now.
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Let’s get practical:
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There is one specific technique to help you get centered and grounded that uses two chakras located outside of your physical body: Your 9th and your 10th chakras.
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The 9th chakra, also known as the “seat of the soul”, is located above your crown.
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The 10th chakra, also referred to as the “earth connection”, is located just below you, in the ground.
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To me, those two chakras are representatives of your soul and the Earth. Like pocket sized versions of the two, perfectly placed if you want to safely center and ground yourself, using these two chakras as your two poles, above and below.

Try this

Sit down comfortably. If you can, keep your spine nice and tall.
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Breathe.
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Become aware of those small movements your body naturally makes as you inhale and exhale.
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Now, bring your attention inwards, as if you were looking at your heart, and with your inner senses, follow that energetic stream (aka your line of light) that runs from the back of your heart down your spine, into the earth, and into your 10th chakra, below you.
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Sense the dense energy, the compactness, the earthiness of that chakra.
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Then, follow the energetic stream as it travels back up again, back into your body, up your spine, up and out your crown, and into your 9th chakra, above you.
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Sense the shiny quality and the bright light of that chakra.
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Keep your awareness on your line of light and sense-see-feel that pulsating loop of energy as it runs up and down between your earth connection below (your 10th chakra), your body in the middle, and the seat of your soul above (your 9th chakra).
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Feel that pulse, that flow, that stream, that line of light, as it flows up and down, in an endless loop.
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Get a felt sense of your connectedness to both poles, below and above: To your your earthiness below your feet, and to your shininess in the seat of your soul.
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Hold your awareness on that pulsating energetic stream for as long as feels comfortable.
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What do you notice?
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To close, bring your awareness back into your heart, gently focus on the way your body is breathing, feel your feet on the ground, wiggle your toes, and come back to your here and now.
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P.S.: If you’d like to have me guide you through a similar meditation, have a look at this post. Enjoy!
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#innerwisdomsystem
#energywork
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Photo: Michal Grosicki via Unsplash

The Love-Trust-Respect Triangle

“Imagine a world where your closest relationships are built on Love-Trust-Respect. Now compare that world to your current reality. What do you see?” – #innerwisdomsystem
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In my work, I often come across an energetic triangle of love, trust and respect. It seems to build a solid foundation for our most precious relationships, and when one of its three building blocks is missing, things tend to feel a bit… wonky.
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For example, if you are in a romantic relationship where you don’t trust your partner, you might be suspicious of their motives. Imagine this dialogue: Person A: “Why would you go to that gig without me?” – Person B: “Why would you want to come? You don’t even like that kind of music.” A lack of trust creates this kind of tension. Deep trust would make A and B celebrate their differences.
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If you are in a friendship where love is missing, you probably feel like you’re constantly negotiating business deals. Here’s what that could look like: Person C: “If you do X for me, I will do Y for you.” – Person D: “Ok, but only if you promise you won’t do Z in front of everybody.” Exhausting, no?
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If you are in a relationship that lacks respect, you won’t see one another clearly, and repeated anger patterns become part of your conversations. An (exaggerated) version of this could sound like this: Person E: “I love you, I trust you, but really, you should be doing something else with your life.” – Person F: “Oh really? Look who’s talking! Like you were only ever happy in your career?!?” Respect sounds different.
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Have a look at your closest personal relationships. Are the energies of love, trust and respect all present there? Can you sense that all three would like to support you?
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How would you like to increase your capacity for love, trust and respect – within yourself, first, and then, also, within your various relationships?
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#relationshipping

Your soul has an inner structure

Just as a dry little seed holds the full DNA of a flower, your soul’s innate structure holds all the information on who you are.
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A flower’s DNA holds information on how its plant will react to floods or droughts, how it will play with bees and other pollinators, how it will copy its inner system and create new generations of plants, and so on.
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It’s a very neutral process of growth, bloom, death and rebirth that plays out every day, right outside our windows.
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Similarly, your soul’s inner structure knows who you are.
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Its inner wisdom knows how you will react to the societal challenges you grow up in, how you will move through joyful or traumatic experiences, how you will connect with souls that are compatible to yours, how you will give birth to new ideas, etc.
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In order to make sense of your soul’s structure, what’s required of you is to learn how to tune in, connect to your soul and download its wisdom. Your body is aware of that wisdom, your heart is, too, but your mind may have its doubts about the details.
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And since we live in a very brain-focused world, your mind needs to be made conscious of certain truths within you for you to be able to actively live as yourself.

Try this:

Get yourself into a centered, meditative state and bring your awareness into your line of light, as it flows up and down your spine, down to the heart of earth, and up to the center of your soul, in a never-ending loop.
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Once you’re tuned into that line of light, ask your #innerwisdomsystem to send you an energetic image of your soul’s original structure, and receive it through your mind’s eye.
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Meditate on that image.
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See if you can make out your soul’s colours and inner workings.
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Watch how it reacts when other souls are in its vicinity.
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Ask your soul some simple questions and fine-tune your inner senses to receive its answers.
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What do you notice?
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To close, gently focus on the way your body is breathing, feel your feet on the ground, wiggle your toes, and come back to your here and now.
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#innerwisdomsystem
#relationshipping
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Photo: Lilly Mackuth
(from my “Symmetric Light Series” on Instagram)

How to be angry

Every once in a while, some of my clients will come into my Sessions angry. And I mean fuming. So angry they can hardly speak, because whatever they might want to say would come out wrong.
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They are angry because of the political situation they are in.
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Angry because their mother said… or because their father didn’t…
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Angry because they only just remembered the depth of their relationship trauma.
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Or just plain angry because the world is seemingly going to pieces.
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Here is what to do when you feel that kind of anger and it’s overwhelming for you: You go deeper.

Try this:

    1. Open up your inner senses. Where in your body do you feel that anger? Is it in your solar plexus, in your heart, in your throat, behind you eyes, your ears, your forehead? Try to locate where it sits in your body.
    2. Then see if you can feel how big your anger is: Grape-sized? Like an orange? A melon? As big as your body?
    3. And now, do the counter-intuitive thing: Make it grow bigger. Breathe into your anger and expand its outer shell by a centimeter. Breathe again. Expand it by another centimeter. Breathe. Expand. Breathe. Expand. Until your anger is as big as it gets while you can still hold it, and not lose its energy. Feel the relief that comes with acknowledging your anger and allow it to just be there.
    4. Now scan your body and see if there’s another emotion in there somewhere. Is there any disappointment? Resignation? Shame? Loneliness? See if you can locate it: Where do you feel that second emotion? How big is it?
    5. While still holding your anger, repeat step 3 with that second emotion: Breathe. Expand. Breathe. Expand. Etc.
    6. At some point, your anger will burst. And your second emotion will burst, too. And the third one, etc.
    7. At the end of this exercise, you should be able to feel yourself in all your complexity. You will notice that you can give room to your emotions without losing yourself. On the contrary: You will feel how your personal sense of self expands. 

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This is just the tip of the iceberg, of course. Your anger has messages for you, and until you address those messages, it will probably feel messy and annoying. But allowing your anger to just be, for a moment, is a good start.
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#innerwisdomsystem
#peaceperspective
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Photo: Dustin Lee via Unsplash