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Truth feels like Relief

One of the biggest AHA moments many of my clients get when they start working with me is that truth feels like relief – even if it seems painful, at first.
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There’s a complex mental avoidance mechanism going on when we do not want to see the full truth of a situation, which can create chronic stress symptoms – for example when we want to avoid addressing trauma or adverse childhood experiences. This avoidance mechanism is a protection process that tries to keep our assumptions about life as unchanging as possible, because this part of us is trying to keep us “safe”.
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However, addressing the truth about what really happened, or the truth about how life really is, instead of sugarcoating it, actually feels like a relief.
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And yet, because we are trained to avoid certain truths, we are afraid of what might happen if these sugarcoated truths were revealed.
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For example, in relationships, we often have a “gut feeling” about someone when we don’t fully trust them. And yet, since most of us were raised to be polite, we often choose not to go with that gut feeling, and to stay polite, instead.
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So, we are trying to make things work with that person – to literally STAY, politely, instead of leaving – even though our body mirrors back to us that we do not trust them.
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Allowing yourself to examine that intuitive body mirror will always reveal very valid reasons for why your body does not trust that person.
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And revealing that truth is the relief your body aches for. It is the clarity of being able to let go of someone, even if, on paper, that someone might have been perfect.
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Your body knows if they aren’t.
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Trust that knowing.
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If you need any help with deciphering the messages your body mirrors back at you, contact me for a free Intro Conversation. This is the work that I do.
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#innerwisdomsystem
#peaceperspective
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Photo: Noah Usry via Unsplash

Relationships are like ecosystems

The best relationships are a bit like benevolent ecosystems: When you are embedded in a cooperative ecosystem of souls that are compatible and familiar with your own soul, you thrive like an orchid living on a big beautiful tree in the middle of an ancient intact rain forest.
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In other words: Your soul has soul-siblings and soul-partners (romantic, and otherwise) that you intimately know how to work with, live with, love with, before you are formally introduced here on this planet.
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And when the two of you meet, as humans, it’s like a spiritual element of your life clicks into place that was missing before.
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However, Earth is big. And unfortunately, we rarely grow up right around the corner from our soul siblings and soul partners.
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Which means that finding those people we naturally click with can be quite a bit of a challenge. Spiritually, energetically, and time-wise.
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Also, as a western society, we are very much used to the drama of dysfunctional relationship patterns. So when we do meet those soul mates, the peace that is at the core of that new-familiar relationship can almost seem dull in comparison, at first.
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We are so used to drama, in fact, that some of us are addicted to it.
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If we haven’t encountered anyone from our own familiar ecosystem yet, we tend to think that drama is a natural part of all love relationships, all friendships, all business partnerships, all cooperations.
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And yet. As soon as you do meet someone your soul knows and likes, you will notice that the peace at the core of that relationship actually feels like freedom, freshness, and curiosity.
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Because getting to know your soul mate on a human level is seriously interesting stuff.
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You don’t know what their current body feels like. You don’t know what their current heart wants. You don’t know how their mind works, in this lifetime, and you don’t know their preferences and perspectives, at all. There’s a whole lifetime of interests you can discover together.
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So, if you are unsure whether that one particular relationship in your life is based on a soul connection, feel free to contact me. Helping you understand your personal relationship systems is part of the work that I do.
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#relationshipping
#peaceperspective
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Photo: Austin Chan via Unsplash

Put your gifts into action

Your human nature and your unique soul patterns hold gifts for you that are independent of all of the social markers that we usually see when we look at ourselves. Underneath your status, your line of work, your gender, your culture, and your beliefs, you are equipped with unique strengths and gifts.
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But all of those gifts mean nothing unless you put them into action.
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Maybe you know how to steer a difficult conversation towards peace, and how to build a sustainable network of relationships that are rooted in justice and love.
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Maybe you know how to ask the right questions – questions that help somebody else understand what their system needs in order to feel good. (That’s one of my gifts, btw.)
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Maybe you know how to get people to work as a team, and how to pull all of their strengths together to create the most elegant outcomes for the most difficult projects.
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Whatever they are, your unique gifts naturally start to flow through you once you are aligned with the core of your being. Your soul’s gifts have been with you for many lifetimes, and nobody taught you how to work them. You just know how to use them – intuitively, even when you’re half asleep – once you are in a state of self-trust.
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And the world needs your unique gifts right now. Put them into action. It’s time. And it doesn’t matter if you make a big career out of them, or if you “only” use your gifts in your personal life. Just don’t ignore them, please. Ignorance is boring.
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If you need any help with this, let’s talk. I’m here to help.
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#innerwisdomsystem
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Photo: Adrien Ledoux via Unsplash

Crises are a natural part of life

Do you cut your own hair? I’m guessing you let a professional stylist do that job.
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Do you manage your finances all by yourself? I’m assuming you have at least one person who helps you make sense of your numbers.
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Do you provide your own entertainment? Presumably, you’re enjoying the work of professional artists when you netflix at night.
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So why would you not also hire a professional to help you dissolve all those big and small relationship crises that are a natural part of life?
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You don’t have to go through this alone.
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Contact me if you’d like some help.
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#peaceperspective
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Photo: Wenniel Lun via Unsplash

Self-help not required

I think the term “self-help” is misleading.
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I didn’t heal from any of my heartbreaks, crises, or chronic pain issues all by myself. And I don’t think anyone should have to.
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We are doing ourselves a huge disservice if we try to make it on our own. Yes, reaching out to a professional coach for help – or to any professional, for that matter – is always a bit awkward, because the experience of connecting with someone who knows how to help you always creates a mirror image, almost tangibly, of who you are within your current crisis, big or small, and of who you might be when it’s all over.
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And that dissonance between who you are now, in crisis, and who you would like to become once you’ve resolved your crisis often comes with a heaping dose of hopelessness. As in “Trying to get from here to there is just too damn hard…”
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But that mirror image that any professional coach can give you also instantly reflects your beauty, your gifts, and your desires. Which means that you instantly gain more clarity and peace by identifying that truth within yourself.
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Which then makes it so much easier to take the first step out of your crisis.
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You don’t have to go through this alone.
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Reach out.
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#peaceperspective
#relationshipping
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Photo: Kristine Weilert via Unsplash

Everything speaks.

Everything speaks.
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Do you trust your inner voice? You’re not alone if you don’t. My mind used to be inundated with so many different opinions that for a long time, I had a hard time hearing myself, in there.
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My brain was flooded with the sound waves of “expert-voices”.
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The assertive phrases of some books I had read had filled up entire areas of my mind.
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There were one-liners certain people of my past had left in there that were like annoying little gnats, buzzing in my ears from time to time, just to make sure I didn’t forget about their opinionated presence.
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And some assumptions that had formed in early childhood were like huge humming fog-horns: Repeatedly, they would out-blast every new thought wave my mind was trying to form.
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Until I learned how to pick up the frequencies of me, underneath all that excess sound.
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Everything speaks. Your body speaks. Your emotions speak. Your inner children speak. Even your future self does.
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And I don’t mean that in a metaphorical way: You can literally tune into your body and hear what it has to say.

Try this:

Breathe into the area of your body that currently feels the most discomfort. Now open up your inner senses, lovingly turn towards that discomfort, and start asking simple questions, one at a time:
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“What do you need?”
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“How can I help you?”
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“Do you have a message for me?”
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Listen.
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Breathe.
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Listen some more.
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And if this exercise feels difficult to do, please feel free to reach out for a non-binding Intro Conversation with me. I’m here to help.
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#innerwisdomsystem
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Photo: w via Unsplash

Your inner Yes

How many decisions did you make over the course of the past few months that didn’t come from a big, beautiful YES?
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I’ve noticed that in an ever-changing world, many of us feel as if there’s no real YES or NO any more. As if we couldn’t possibly understand all of the elements involved in order to make clear-cut decisions any longer.
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And yet.
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When you start to tune into your inner voice and merge the information coming from your inner guidance with the hard facts presented by the world around you, it’s like a map of your personal path starts to form from within you.
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As you tune into yourself, AND into the environment around you, you can hear that YES within you, and it gets easier and easier to follow its route through the complicated terrain of modern life.
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That inner YES knows all of your strengths, your expertise, your gifts, your passions, your joys and your soul’s preferences.
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AND it knows all the intricacies of the world around you.
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Which means that your inner YES will guide you well.
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Even if the route looks complex, at first. Especially, if it looks complex. Once you start following your inner YES, you will notice that “complex” is just another word for “not boring”. Or even, “deeply satisfying”.
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Feel free to contact me if you would be interested in learning more about the route your very own inner YES has in store for you.
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#innerwisdomsystem
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Photo: Laura Kranz via Unsplash

Difficult conversations

The difficult conversations are the ones I remember.
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It is never easy to start these conversations. But there is beauty in “difficult”.
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Because these conversations take me to places I have never been. Places where I have to navigate from my heart, work with the bold kind of tenderness that lives there, and fully be myself with someone who might not see the world like I do.
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Where I have to trust that my courage is strong enough to get me through this. Even when I feel like a blubbery mess, in that moment.
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I have a feeling that we will all need to start lots of difficult, messy, human conversations in the years to come.
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Not just to share who we are with each other.
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But to create the conditions for a different, peaceful reality.
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If you’re ready for a difficult conversation (and some truth-seeking within yourself), feel free to contact me. I promise that the inner truth of what you are currently dealing with is way more beautiful than you might suspect.
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#peaceperspective
#relationshipping
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Photo: Arun Kuchibhotla via Unsplash

Work with nature

Polarity is natural in the world we live in. Ebb and flow, creation and destruction are two sides of the same life, and change and chaos are normal. How do you deal with this reality?
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Option one

is to problem solve, micro manage, and to try to force unwanted chaos to realign with the order your rational mind wants to see.
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Which usually means that the forces of nature will burst your bubble, at some point. For example, building an artificial river bed and expecting the waters to behave the way you want them to is absurd. There will be floods.
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The same is true for any kind of interference with the natural forces that make up your life. Trying to force yourself to act against your own true nature does not work, in the long run. Your body is the first to resist.
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Option two

is to take a step back, face the facts, sink into intuitive creativity mode, let a vision arise out of your interconnectedness with life, and co-create with the nature of this planet.
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Which means that your relationship with life changes, completely.
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The two of you are working together now.
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And life starts to tell you its secrets.
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Feel free to reach out to me if you’re having difficulties understanding what life is trying to tell you. This is what my work is for.
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#innerwisdomsystem
#peaceperspective
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Photo: Patrick Tomasso via Unsplash