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How to love your differences

There’s a common problem that runs through many (love) relationships: That two people, who are very different from each other, feel stressed by being so different from each other.
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Let’s say one of them is very spontaneous, has a thousand ideas, and wants to make every idea a reality, right away – no matter what.
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And let’s say their partner is very calm and methodical, likes to plan ahead, and loves to apply their know-how in a very rational, diligent manner.
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The problem starts when both of them try to adapt to each other. Person one will feel bad about their ideas, thinking they’re “too spontaneous”, and person two will feel like “the boring one” who constantly “overthinks things”.
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The result: They both stop being there for each other, and they both feel like they’re not sexy enough for their partner.
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Energetically, there’s a beautiful, elegant solution to this problem.
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When you meditatively let yourself drop into the four mystical chambers of your heart, you can get a very direct, embodied experience of how you would really like to play, in your relationships.
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(And I don’t mean your sex life – although your heart may give you some very detailed pieces of information about that part, too.)
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Energetically, your heart can bring you to a place where you can be you, in a very relaxed way – and where you can keep being yourself, no matter who you’re with.
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That’s because your heart deeply supports your individuality, and it can help you embody your individuality, fully.
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Which means that once you have gone through this process inside your heart, your partner will experience you just the way you are. In all your glory.
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Spoiler alert: You’re going to love being yourself.

If that sounds like something you would like to try:

My new Heart Truth program still has a couple of spots available, so if you would like to

  • get direct access to your inner truth
  • gain deep insights into the four big themes of your heart: Love, Wisdom, Strength and Vision
  • experience profound healing and transformation in these areas of your life
  • learn to love your individuality
  • and lay a foundation for being your own guide in these chaotic times,

my program might be for you.
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Registration closes May 15* (the day after tomorrow).
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Here are all the details.
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And if you are interested, contact me here. We will start with a free, non-binding intro conversation via Zoom. (You won’t have to create your own account – all you need is a device that lets you do video conferences, e.g. your smart phone or a laptop that has a camera and a microphone.)
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I look forward to our first conversation!
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Love
Lilly
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P.S.: Did you miss the deadline? Not to worry. The next round starts in September. Check for updates on my Heart Truths page!
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#innerwisdomsystem
#relationshipping

New: The Heart Truth Process

It’s launch day!
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My new one-on-one coaching program is ready for you! Click here for a short intro video, if you like.
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My program, “The Heart Truth Process”, is designed for you to gain direct access to one particular part of your #innerwisdomsystem: Your heart.
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Energetically speaking, its four chambers represent four big themes in your life: Love (both romantic and platonic), your Applied Wisdom, your True Strength and the Big Vision of your life.
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And the goal of my program is to help you tune into these four chambers and let your heart be your guide when it comes to these four big themes in your life.
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So, if that resonates with you, have a look at my new Heart Truths page.
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The first 6 one-on-one spots are available for May and June – but before you make a decision, let’s meet for a free, non-binding Intro Conversation where we can get to know each other and you can ask me anything about the program.
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All you’ll need for that is a device that lets you do video conferences, i.e. your laptop or a smart phone.
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Looking forward to our first conversation!
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Love
Lilly
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#innerwisdomsystem

Truth feels like Relief

One of the biggest AHA moments many of my clients get when they start working with me is that truth feels like relief – even if it seems painful, at first.
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There’s a complex mental avoidance mechanism going on when we do not want to see the full truth of a situation, which can create chronic stress symptoms – for example when we want to avoid addressing trauma or adverse childhood experiences. This avoidance mechanism is a protection process that tries to keep our assumptions about life as unchanging as possible, because this part of us is trying to keep us “safe”.
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However, addressing the truth about what really happened, or the truth about how life really is, instead of sugarcoating it, actually feels like a relief.
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And yet, because we are trained to avoid certain truths, we are afraid of what might happen if these sugarcoated truths were revealed.
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For example, in relationships, we often have a “gut feeling” about someone when we don’t fully trust them. And yet, since most of us were raised to be polite, we often choose not to go with that gut feeling, and to stay polite, instead.
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So, we are trying to make things work with that person – to literally STAY, politely, instead of leaving – even though our body mirrors back to us that we do not trust them.
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Allowing yourself to examine that intuitive body mirror will always reveal very valid reasons for why your body does not trust that person.
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And revealing that truth is the relief your body aches for. It is the clarity of being able to let go of someone, even if, on paper, that someone might have been perfect.
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Your body knows if they aren’t.
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Trust that knowing.
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If you need any help with deciphering the messages your body mirrors back at you, contact me for a free Intro Conversation. This is the work that I do.
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#innerwisdomsystem
#peaceperspective
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Photo: Noah Usry via Unsplash

Relationships are like ecosystems

The best relationships are a bit like benevolent ecosystems: When you are embedded in a cooperative ecosystem of souls that are compatible and familiar with your own soul, you thrive like an orchid living on a big beautiful tree in the middle of an ancient intact rain forest.
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In other words: Your soul has soul-siblings and soul-partners (romantic, and otherwise) that you intimately know how to work with, live with, love with, before you are formally introduced here on this planet.
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And when the two of you meet, as humans, it’s like a spiritual element of your life clicks into place that was missing before.
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However, Earth is big. And unfortunately, we rarely grow up right around the corner from our soul siblings and soul partners.
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Which means that finding those people we naturally click with can be quite a bit of a challenge. Spiritually, energetically, and time-wise.
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Also, as a western society, we are very much used to the drama of dysfunctional relationship patterns. So when we do meet those soul mates, the peace that is at the core of that new-familiar relationship can almost seem dull in comparison, at first.
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We are so used to drama, in fact, that some of us are addicted to it.
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If we haven’t encountered anyone from our own familiar ecosystem yet, we tend to think that drama is a natural part of all love relationships, all friendships, all business partnerships, all cooperations.
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And yet. As soon as you do meet someone your soul knows and likes, you will notice that the peace at the core of that relationship actually feels like freedom, freshness, and curiosity.
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Because getting to know your soul mate on a human level is seriously interesting stuff.
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You don’t know what their current body feels like. You don’t know what their current heart wants. You don’t know how their mind works, in this lifetime, and you don’t know their preferences and perspectives, at all. There’s a whole lifetime of interests you can discover together.
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So, if you are unsure whether that one particular relationship in your life is based on a soul connection, feel free to contact me. Helping you understand your personal relationship systems is part of the work that I do.
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#relationshipping
#peaceperspective
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Photo: Austin Chan via Unsplash

A personal note

Life gets easier when you can see yourself.
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This turned out to be my theme for 2017, and it will be my one of my guiding principles for 2018.
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And it’s also the tag line for my brand new website.
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Over the past few months, I went after an old dream and worked with some seriously talented creatives – Evan Leah Quinn and Ines Njers – who helped me refine my online aesthetic into something that truly feels like me. And I am absolutely stunned by the results.
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Hire Evan if you are looking for someone with intuitive branding skills who will create a website design for you that feels right. Evan is talented, intuitive, whip smart, and her work is always thoroughly mapped out, ahead of time – which made my German structured mind feel right at home.
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And let Ines take your pictures if you want to feel like a model. Her talent for catching someone’s personality with her camera is absolutely priceless.
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Thank you, Evan and Ines! It’s been a dream!
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Branding & Website: Evan Leah Quinn of SixteenJuly
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Portraits: Ines Njers 
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#innerwisdomsystem
#peaceperspective
#relationshipping

 

Put your gifts into action

Your human nature and your unique soul patterns hold gifts for you that are independent of all of the social markers that we usually see when we look at ourselves. Underneath your status, your line of work, your gender, your culture, and your beliefs, you are equipped with unique strengths and gifts.
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But all of those gifts mean nothing unless you put them into action.
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Maybe you know how to steer a difficult conversation towards peace, and how to build a sustainable network of relationships that are rooted in justice and love.
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Maybe you know how to ask the right questions – questions that help somebody else understand what their system needs in order to feel good. (That’s one of my gifts, btw.)
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Maybe you know how to get people to work as a team, and how to pull all of their strengths together to create the most elegant outcomes for the most difficult projects.
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Whatever they are, your unique gifts naturally start to flow through you once you are aligned with the core of your being. Your soul’s gifts have been with you for many lifetimes, and nobody taught you how to work them. You just know how to use them – intuitively, even when you’re half asleep – once you are in a state of self-trust.
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And the world needs your unique gifts right now. Put them into action. It’s time. And it doesn’t matter if you make a big career out of them, or if you “only” use your gifts in your personal life. Just don’t ignore them, please. Ignorance is boring.
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If you need any help with this, let’s talk. I’m here to help.
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#innerwisdomsystem
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Photo: Adrien Ledoux via Unsplash

Self-help not required

I think the term “self-help” is misleading.
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I didn’t heal from any of my heartbreaks, crises, or chronic pain issues all by myself. And I don’t think anyone should have to.
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We are doing ourselves a huge disservice if we try to make it on our own. Yes, reaching out to a professional coach for help – or to any professional, for that matter – is always a bit awkward, because the experience of connecting with someone who knows how to help you always creates a mirror image, almost tangibly, of who you are within your current crisis, big or small, and of who you might be when it’s all over.
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And that dissonance between who you are now, in crisis, and who you would like to become once you’ve resolved your crisis often comes with a heaping dose of hopelessness. As in “Trying to get from here to there is just too damn hard…”
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But that mirror image that any professional coach can give you also instantly reflects your beauty, your gifts, and your desires. Which means that you instantly gain more clarity and peace by identifying that truth within yourself.
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Which then makes it so much easier to take the first step out of your crisis.
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You don’t have to go through this alone.
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Reach out.
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#peaceperspective
#relationshipping
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Photo: Kristine Weilert via Unsplash

Your inner Yes

How many decisions did you make over the course of the past few months that didn’t come from a big, beautiful YES?
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I’ve noticed that in an ever-changing world, many of us feel as if there’s no real YES or NO any more. As if we couldn’t possibly understand all of the elements involved in order to make clear-cut decisions any longer.
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And yet.
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When you start to tune into your inner voice and merge the information coming from your inner guidance with the hard facts presented by the world around you, it’s like a map of your personal path starts to form from within you.
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As you tune into yourself, AND into the environment around you, you can hear that YES within you, and it gets easier and easier to follow its route through the complicated terrain of modern life.
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That inner YES knows all of your strengths, your expertise, your gifts, your passions, your joys and your soul’s preferences.
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AND it knows all the intricacies of the world around you.
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Which means that your inner YES will guide you well.
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Even if the route looks complex, at first. Especially, if it looks complex. Once you start following your inner YES, you will notice that “complex” is just another word for “not boring”. Or even, “deeply satisfying”.
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Feel free to contact me if you would be interested in learning more about the route your very own inner YES has in store for you.
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#innerwisdomsystem
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Photo: Laura Kranz via Unsplash

Work with nature

Polarity is natural in the world we live in. Ebb and flow, creation and destruction are two sides of the same life, and change and chaos are normal. How do you deal with this reality?
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Option one

is to problem solve, micro manage, and to try to force unwanted chaos to realign with the order your rational mind wants to see.
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Which usually means that the forces of nature will burst your bubble, at some point. For example, building an artificial river bed and expecting the waters to behave the way you want them to is absurd. There will be floods.
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The same is true for any kind of interference with the natural forces that make up your life. Trying to force yourself to act against your own true nature does not work, in the long run. Your body will be the first to resist.
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Option two

is to take a step back, face the facts, sink into intuitive creativity mode, let a vision arise out of your interconnectedness with life, and co-create with the nature of this planet.
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Which means that your relationship with life changes, completely.
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The two of you are working together now.
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And life starts to tell you its secrets.
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Feel free to reach out to me if you’re having difficulties understanding what life is trying to tell you. This is what my work is for.
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#innerwisdomsystem
#peaceperspective
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Photo: Patrick Tomasso via Unsplash