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Relationshipping

Relationships are like ecosystems

The best relationships are a bit like symbiotic ecosystems: When you are embedded in a cooperative ecosystem of souls that are compatible and familiar with your own soul, you thrive like an orchid living on a big beautiful tree in the middle of an ancient intact rain forest.

In other words: Your soul has soul-siblings and soul-partners (romantic, and otherwise) that you intimately know how to work with, live with, love with, before you are formally introduced here on this planet.

And when the two of you meet, as humans, it’s like a spiritual element of your life clicks into place that was missing before.

However, Earth is big. And unfortunately, we rarely grow up right around the corner from our soul siblings and soul partners.

Which means that finding those people we naturally click with can be quite a bit of a challenge. Spiritually, energetically, and time-wise.

Also, as a western society, we are very much used to the drama of dysfunctional relationship patterns. So when we do meet those soul mates, the peace that is at the core of that new-familiar relationship can almost seem dull in comparison, at first.

We are so used to drama, in fact, that some of us are addicted to it.

If we haven’t encountered anyone from our own familiar ecosystem yet, we tend to think that drama is a natural part of all love relationships, all friendships, all business partnerships, all cooperations.

And yet. As soon as you do meet someone your soul knows and likes, you will notice that the peace at the core of that relationship actually feels like freedom, freshness, and curiosity.

Because getting to know your soul mate on a human level is seriously interesting stuff.

You don’t know what their current body feels like. You don’t know what their current heart wants. You don’t know how their mind works, in this lifetime, and you don’t know their preferences and perspectives, at all. There’s a whole lifetime of interests you can discover together.

So, if you are unsure whether that one particular relationship in your life is based on a soul connection, feel free to contact me. Helping you understand your personal relationship systems is part of the work that I do.

A personal note

Life gets easier when you can see yourself.

This turned out to be my theme for 2017, and it will be my one of my guiding principles for 2018.

And it’s also the tag line for my brand new website.

Over the past few months, I went after an old dream and worked with some seriously talented creatives – Evan Leah Quinn and Ines Njers – who helped me refine my online aesthetic into something that truly feels like me. And I am absolutely stunned by the results.

Hire Evan if you are looking for someone with intuitive branding skills who will create a website design for you that feels right. Evan is talented, intuitive, whip smart, and her work is always thoroughly mapped out, ahead of time – which made my German structured mind feel right at home.

And let Ines take your pictures if you want to feel like a model. Her talent for catching someone’s personality with her camera is absolutely priceless.

Thank you, Evan and Ines! It’s been a dream!

Branding & Website: Evan Leah Quinn of SixteenJuly

Portraits: Ines Njers 

Crises are a natural part of life

Do you cut your own hair? I’m guessing you let a professional stylist do that job.

Do you manage your finances all by yourself? I’m assuming you have at least one person who helps you make sense of your numbers.

Do you provide your own entertainment? Presumably, you’re enjoying the work of professional artists when you netflix at night.

So why would you not also hire a professional to help you dissolve all those big and small relationship crises that are a natural part of life?

You don’t have to go through this alone.

Contact me if you’d like some help.

Self-help not required

I think the term “self-help” is misleading.

I didn’t heal from any of my heartbreaks, crises, or chronic pain issues all by myself. And I don’t think anyone should have to.

We are doing ourselves a huge disservice if we try to make it on our own. Yes, reaching out to a professional coach for help – or to any professional, for that matter – is always a bit awkward, because the experience of connecting with someone who knows how to help you always creates a mirror image, almost tangibly, of who you are within your current crisis, big or small, and of who you might be when it’s all over.

And that dissonance between who you are now, in crisis, and who you would like to become once you’ve resolved your crisis often comes with a heaping dose of hopelessness. As in “Trying to get from here to there is just too damn hard…”

But that mirror image that any professional coach can give you also instantly reflects your beauty, your gifts, and your desires. Which means that you instantly gain more clarity and peace by identifying that truth within yourself.

Which then makes it so much easier to take the first step out of your crisis.

You don’t have to go through this alone.

Reach out.

Difficult conversations

The difficult conversations are the ones I remember.

It is never easy to start these conversations. But there is beauty in “difficult”.

Because these conversations take me to places I have never been. Places where I have to navigate from my heart, work with the bold kind of tenderness that lives there, and fully be myself with someone who might not see the world like I do.

Where I have to trust that my courage is strong enough to get me through this. Even when I feel like a blubbery mess, in that moment.

I have a feeling that we will all need to start lots of difficult, messy, human conversations in the years to come.

Not just to share who we are with each other.

But to create the conditions for a different, peaceful reality.

If you’re ready for a difficult conversation (and some truth-seeking within yourself), feel free to contact me. I promise that the inner truth of what you are currently dealing with is way more beautiful than you might suspect.

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