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Some thoughts on Yogi Bhajan’s transgressions

We live in a time where secrets don’t stay secret for too long. Thankfully, this also means that the spiritual scene all over the globe has begun to face its own collective shadows, addressing allegations against some spiritual teachers who seem to have abused their powers and who seem to have violated their student’s boundaries left and right. Sadly, the Kundalini Yoga scene is no exception: About a week ago, a thorough report on Yogi Bhajan’s sexual and spiritual transgressions was released (click here for the link, if you’d like to read it). It’s quite an explicit document, and the ways in which he seems to have abused his position as a spiritual leader to manipulate and mistreat members of his personal staff become quite apparent throughout the report. The document cites both victims as well as people who are trying to rescue his reputation, and interestingly, both sides paint a similar picture, describing his domineering, authoritarian character in detail.

When I began practicing Kundalini Yoga a few years after his death, I didn’t know anything about the man, Yogi Bhajan. I had been looking for ways to deal with chronic pain, and a friend recommended Kundalini Yoga as a type of yoga “that does things to you, energetically, and it’s hard to explain. It just works.” Which was exactly how I experienced it. So, I only ever saw Kundalini Yoga as a collection of energy work tools, and I never followed the religious side of Yogi Bhajan’s teachings. Also, I guess I was lucky to receive my training from teachers who refrained from any kind of cult-like reverence when it came to him as a person.

Reading the report on his transgressions must be hard for those who saw him as their personal guru. Apparently, he was one of those spiritual teachers who didn’t live by his own teachings, and I feel for those who are now questioning everything.

Sexual violence is a beast, and unfortunately, Yogi Bhajan was one of many spiritual teachers who were fascinated by its darkness. I’ve worked with several clients over the years who suffered from abuse at the hands of their own spiritual teachers, and clearly, there’s still a lot of work to be done if we truly want to transmute the energies of sexual violence on this planet.

My heart goes out to all who trusted their spiritual teachers and had their trust betrayed. Life is not fair, sometimes.

Image:
A card drawn from Danielle Laporte’s Truthbomb Deck Vol. 1, saying: “Freedom worships inquiry”
(no affiliation, not sponsored)

Are you using your Inner Wisdom System?

Many spiritual teachers predicted that the years between 2012 and 2038 would be a transition into a whole new era.

Our consciousness would become more sophisticated, they said. And we would shift into a more ecologically healthy way of being. Life would become more peaceful, we would connect with our soul families, and we would all become the proud owners of some excellent intuitive gifts that would help us create a whole new world built on justice and freedom. 

For a while, I just assumed that this meant that we would get easy access to our intuitive wisdom all by ourselves, and that we would then automatically download our personal goals for this lifetime… and that we would basically all become happier and happier, in the process.

For some of us, this is exactly what has been happening.

For others – and I think this is the majority – it’s been different: We know something needs to change, and so we’ve been practicing Yoga and meditation. We’ve read all the wisdom teachings to get some answers. We might even have gone through some spiritual training or other. And we think we know how to work with our intuition.

But then again, the results we are getting from doing all of that inner work haven’t been what we thought they would be.

Our minds are still stressed, and we can’t really tell if we’re headed in the right direction. Our relationships haven’t improved much. Our intuitive guidance often doesn’t give us any clear answers. And we are not exactly sure how we can keep holding our inner strength when every week, there’s another major social, ecological or personal challenge to be dealt with (COVID-19, neo-fascists trying to undermine democracy, heat waves happening in Siberia, floods all across the globe… the list seems endless).

In other words, life has not magically turned into the love-fest those spiritual teachers saw coming.

Or, rather: Not, yet.

And I think that’s because many spiritual teachings are missing one important step: Customisation.

The times we are living in are an invitation to begin creating a personal relationship with all of these elements that make up your inner wisdom system.

It’s not enough to know that there’s a third eye in you, which, theoretically, can pick up on intuitive guidance. You need to know how, exactly, your inner wisdom is speaking to you, personally, and how you can differentiate between a thought and your intuitive insights. You need to have reference points for what your inner guidance sounds like, and whether it’s coming from your Guides, your soul, your heart, or some other place like the Earth, or your future self.

So, the times we are living in are an invitation to getting some answers to some big questions, such as:

  • What is the concrete mission my soul has envisioned, for this lifetime?
  • Which part of my inner wisdom system can help me make important decisions from a place of integrity and self-knowing, when life is as unpredictable as it is right now?
  • How can I ground my closest relationships in love+trust+respect and transform them into mutually enriching partnerships and friendships that will survive any chaos?
  • And how can I stay connected to my inner guidance, use its wisdom to consciously evolve with a rapidly changing world, and contribute to creating a better life for us all, without burning out in the process?

These are some of the questions you should be asking yourself right now.

I would like to invite you to have a look at my new Session Cycle called Your Inner Wisdom System, and see if you feel that my work could support you in these times. We don’t have to start with a full-on, 12-Session Cycle. A single session or a 4-Session Package can be a powerful beginning.

If you like what you see on my Inner Wisdom System page, meet me for a non-binding Intro Consultation via Zoom, and let’s ask your inner wisdom system to give you some clarifying insights into a particular question that is bugging you, right now. This is how all of my coaching relationships start.

Send me a note via my Contact Page if you are interested, and I’ll send you a link to my online scheduling system, where you can choose an appointment for our Intro Consultation that suits you.

I look forward to working with you!

Re-energize your system – an energy meditation

Here’s a short (8 minute) energy meditation you can use if you’d like to gently re-energize your system. In this meditation, I support you in tuning into your body, first, then into your line of light, second, to get centered and grounded, and in a third step, you and I will do a bit of Energy Work together. We’re inviting the Earth to fill you up on love, care, and sweetness, and we’re asking your soul to help you download some freshness, inspiration and clarity.

To listen, click on the play button in the audio, above.

And If you’d like to add this meditation to your personal collection and download my .mp3 onto your device, click on this Dropbox link.

Enjoy!

P.S.: And if you’d like to read about the elements used in a meditation before you go in, and then engage your own Inner Wisdom System to guide yourself through, try this technique: How to get centered and grounded

Re-Energize Your System: An Energy Meditation
©️ Lilly Mackuth, 2020

How long until I’m fully healed?

Healing doesn’t happen over night. Until it does.

We evolve in spirals. Arriving at the same point of realisation, again and again. Once you’ve decided to do some inner work, that same realisation will look more polished, and sparklier, and more interesting, after every round. It will start to feel like relief, and crispness, and freedom. Because every time you arrive anew, you will see a new possibility for choosing a sweeter mode of being where there was none, before.

And all of the internal shifts you have taken will have been necessary stepping stones for you to arrive at this exact view point.

And all of the energy blocks you have released along the way will have made lifting yourself up those steps easier and easier.

And all of those late nights when all you could do was to inch your way through this obstacle course called life, will have been life-giving.

As you keep doing your inner work, you will notice how, at some point, an old emotional wound will have healed. As if over night. And you will find that you’ve moved yourself another round up the spiral.

How to feel loved

Lilly Mackuth How to feel loved Blog Post

Happy Valentine’s, darlings!

Do you know how to feel loved?

If you’re not sure, I’ve got you.

Try this:

Step 1: Center and ground yourself, and get yourself into a meditative state. (Here is a link to a manual, if you’d like one.)

Step 2: Now, ask your Team (i.e. your Guides etc., your Soul and the Earth) to help you sense-see-feel your personal energetic frequency of love. Feel it take up space inside of you, and as you do, notice the various sensations that are coming up in your body: Does love feel like freshness, peace, or expansion to you? Is your body relaxing into it? Does it feel easy for you to hold that energy of love inside of you?

Step 3: Then, ask your Team to release any and all energies from your system that are not yours, but which had been clinging onto your personal perception of love up until now. Ask your Team to completely dissolve those energies for you (since those never authentically belonged to you in the first place). What do you notice?

Step 4: Now do the corresponding opposite of what I just described: Ask your Team to call back all energies which do belong to your own authentic frequency of love – but which had been scattered elsewhere up until now. Ask your Team to fill you up on those (your) energies. What are you sensing?

Step 5: To finish, breathe into your newly refreshed frequency of love, and ask your body to integrate this updated version into your system. Feel the depth of that love. Bask in the beauty of being able to tune into that deeply delicious experience of feeling loved at any given moment.

Bonus: Notice how the feelings you have for the people you really really like naturally match the frequency of love which you just so beautifully expanded within yourself.

Sending big Valentine Love!  

Healing your inner children

Healing yourself can start by healing your younger selves. Give your inner children – of all ages – the love and care and truth and beauty they were missing, growing up. Take their needs seriously, and let them share their strengths with you.

Ask your inner two-year-old about boundaries. She knows all about that No.

Let your inner four-year-old show you how her Guides, Angels and Healing Beings are helping her cope, in this strange world we are living in.

Let your inner seven-year-old decide who she wants to be friends with. She knows how to read her heart.

Ask your inner 12-year-old if she would like to share her deep thoughts with you.

And let your inner 17-year-old tell you about all the ways she would like to express her soul and herself.

Here’s another sweet practice you can try:

Use your imagination to build each of your younger selves a new home, and let them furnish and decorate their new places in any way they choose. Don’t judge them for what they want to put into their new rooms, and watch how they express themselves through interior design. See how they carefully place their most cherished items within reach, and sense-see-feel how much love goes into each decision. Let them make themselves comfortable, and give them room to explore and to change anything they like, as often as they like.

It’s your imagination, where everything is possible – and where your younger selves can fully be themselves.

Enjoy!

And if you need any help with this, let’s work together.
Helping your younger selves heal is part of what I do.

How to hold your inner strength

The more things are being driven into chaos all around us, the more important it is for each of us to be able to draw from our own inner strength. And because there is so much violence and fear that is getting swirled up, it can be difficult to access that kind of strength within ourselves.

Holding (and using) your spiritual strength is like the ability to control your breathing: It is like using all of those small muscles in your torso to draw in a full deep breath, expanding your ribcage and your belly, and to then let your lungs let out the air again, in a steady and controlled stream, until your solar plexus softens and gets ready to draw the next breath in.

Some energetic part of you knows how to pull your inner strength into yourself, how to hold it, and how to then release it and use it, in a very deliberate way.

For some of us, using our spiritual power means to hold our ground in a heated argument and to channel peace – even though we’re scared – and to direct all parties involved towards focusing on a specific solution to a specific problem. 

For some of us, using our spiritual power means to move with our creative instincts and to keep working on a project until it feels right, before we release it – even though fear would rather have us put out a half-finished version, instead, just to be done with it.

For some of us, using our spiritual power means to trust our intuitive senses and to gently hold space when our relationship grids are evolving into a new direction, even when our PTSD triggers would have us fall into fight, flight, freeze or fawn at the slightest sign of distress.

For many of us, it is very difficult to reconnect to that kind of inner strength.

We try to take a deep breath inwards, but our diaphragm keeps trembling, and it feels like our lungs are not filling up the way we would need them to.

And we try to push our fear-based stress responses against an ever-changing world, because we haven’t learned how to trust ourselves.

We can’t remember what it is like to let our spiritual muscles hold us, move us, keep us safe.

Try this

Developing your ability to draw from your inner spiritual strength takes practice. And you won’t be able to get there by yourself. We need each other to become ourselves. So, here are my two cents: A list of transformational practices that can help you hold your inner strength – and if you need support with any of those practices, contact me. It’s what I do. 

  • Develop a daily spiritual practice that makes sense to you, and keep it up.
  • Do the necessary healing work and release as much personal and collective trauma from your system as possible, until you feel like yourself again. This is the most difficult part. And unfortunately, it will cost you: Time, energy, money, sometimes relationships, and many illusions. 
  • Rebuild your personal boundaries – on an energetic level first, and then through action and words. Be mindful of what you will and won’t allow to happen in your relationships with other people, and be as good a friend to yourself as you are a friend to those you love.
  • Learn how to hold your personal space, and use your breath and your intent to regularly center and ground yourself into that line of light that flows up and down your spine, down through the heart of earth, and up through the center of your soul – in an endless loop, going up and down. It is your lifeline to the love and nourishment coming to you from Earth, and it is a direct hotline to your soul’s intuitive wisdom and power.
  • Get clear on who you are, at soul level, and then translate that expertise into your human life. This can be tricky, because we tend to be a bit blind to ourselves. So, find someone who can help you understand yourself. The clearer you get on who you are, the more you will be able to fully engage with your gifts and talents and bring them to life. 
  • Stay focused on your own experience, and stay close to the people you trust.
  • Keep building a world you would like to live in. And find a bigger cause you can support, outside of what you can do, as an individual.
  • Don’t get discouraged if you can “only” work on one single issue to help create a better world. That one single issue will touch many lives. Keep it up. Ask your soul to let you know how you can use your creativity to unfold that one single issue, in the best way possible, and then fill it with life.

Do you need help with any of these practices? Contact me. It’s all part of my work.

Image: One of my Symmetric Light Series pieces: Fresh greenery in front of a concrete wall
©️ Lilly Mackuth 2019

A state of overwhelm

Over the past couple of months, I have taken some time to learn more about nervous system regulation, which can help to address states of shut-down and burn-out, triggered by chronic stress or PTSD.

And the more I learned, the more I could sense the deep feeling of overwhelm that seems to paralyse and frighten so many of us, sending us into low energy states and shut-down, or hightened energy states and burn-out, when it comes to the current developments on this planet. Some call it a “trauma-spell”, and it affects individuals as well as the collective.

We feel overwhelmed when it comes to the current crash of our natural environment, we feel overwhelmed when we observe the current political shifts towards far-right extremism, and on top of it all, there’s the overwhelm that shows up when we face difficulties in our personal lives – in our relationships with others, and in our relationship with ourselves.

And the more I learned about the energetic expressions of that overwhelm, the more I could also sense that working towards establishing a sense of self-trust, equilibrium and solution-orientedness can seem utterly impossible, when you’re in the thick of it.

Which is why, in every one of my client Sessions, I consciously apply Yogic meditative tools at the beginning of each Session (and sometimes throughout) to help my client get into a state of balance and ease, in order to help them tune into their intuitive guidance system.

Because in that state of balance, where we have access to our #innerwisdomsystem – that’s where we can sense-see solutions to what is keeping us shut down, or burned out. That’s where clarity lives.

Some simple self-regulating tools

When you find yourself in such a state of overwhelm, there are two quite simple things you can try: Singing, and dancing. Both singing and dancing can help to regulate low energy states and shut-down (i.e. hypoarousal), as well as hightened energy states and burn-out (i.e. hyperarousal).*

When you’re in a low energy state (i.e. when your autonomic nervous system feels frozen and shut down), your mind may be thinking thoughts like “I don’t know what to do, I don’t know where to start, it’s all too much”. Your body may feel paralysed and your head is probably quite foggy, eyelids heavy, focus: gone.

Try dancing.

It’s the simplest way to bring some warmth into your frozenness. If dancing seems to be too much of a stretch, start by wiggling your toes to a piece of music. HipHop or R&B are perfect for this. Get one part of your body to move to the music, then another. If you can, stand up and rhythmically shift your weight from one leg to the other, and back again. Left and right, left and right. Keep your knees slightly bent, and let your body become one with the rhythm. Keep moving, even if it’s difficult at first. Left, and right. Move for 10 minutes at a time, and see how you feel.

When you’re in a hightened energy state (i.e. when your autonomous nervous system is in fight-or-flight mode, racing towards burnout), you may be thinking thoughts like “There’s so much I need to do, I haven’t done enough, I can’t stop working, I have to do more”, and your body probably feels antsy and restless. Your eyes are wide open (too wide, actually), and your whole system feels stressed. Which is not the kind of mood that would usually have you burst into song. But that’s exactly what can help you get back into a state of equilibrium:

When you start to sing, you start to regulate your autonomic nervous system – if the style you’re singing in elongates your outward breath.

So, find a slow, gentle song that has you singing long phrases on long outward breaths. The mantra Ra Ma Da Sa by Snatam Kaur is perfect for this. Sing along for 10 minutes and see how you feel.

*P.S.: Obviously, these tips do not replace medical care nor therapy or healing modalities. Please contact your medical doctor, your mental healthcare specialist or your spiritual healer if your symptoms persist.

Your Inner Wisdom System

Some time ago, I created the hashtag #InnerWisdomSystem because I needed a container, online, to showcase some intuitive findings from my client Sessions, across social media. And over time, that small hashtag I have been using to channel and collect my findings has slowly formed into a nice clear capsule containing all those elements that make my work so interesting to me:

Elements like that part of your #InnerWisdomSystem which acts like a radar within your third eye, sending you clear energetic images when something’s off in a relationship, letting you know how to navigate around the places that would have you shipwrecked. And how to find the places where your soul-mates gather, instead.

Or, that part of your #InnerWisdomSystem that whispers dreams and songs and thought-loops and mantras to your inner ear to help you find the next pieces in your personal relationship puzzle.

Or, that part of your #InnerWisdomSystem that lets you feel for your heart’s energetic self-healing mechanisms in the dark, after a break-up, and which also comes with clear instructions (and a flashlight) on how to use these mechanisms, if you know where to look.

Your #InnerWisdomSystem is that part of you that sets off all the nervous alarms in your solar plexus when someone pushes against your sense of self, using systemic misogyny, or racism, or sexism, or or any kind of violence to try to strike fear in you. And your #InnerWisdomSystem is also that other part of you which will then always guide you towards your inner center, the source of your courage, and integrity, and self-protection, and new beginnings, if you know how to let yourself be guided.

Your #InnerWisdomSystem lets you sense-see-feel your soul’s past incarnations on this earth – the ones whose trauma and pain you are still carrying around in your subtle energy bodies – because it wants you to heal all those wounds that couldn’t heal, back then. And that same #InnerWisdomSystem will also gladly send you all those memories of your successful past lives – the ones who will want to teach you a thing or two about love, and connection, and freedom, and joy, if you are open to hear what they have to say.

Your #InnerWisdomSystem wraps your energy body in the softest sheets of soft fuzzy love as soon as you reach out your hands to ask your team of Guides, Angels and Healing Beings for help.

And your #InnerWisdomSystem then picks up on your team’s giggles and perspectives and tips and truths and sends their messages through your intuitive channels to reach you. Because what good would a whole band of cosmic helpers be if you couldn’t hear their wisdom.

Your beautiful, interconnected, super-conscious #InnerWisdomSystem knows how to solve your life’s mysteries, in any circumstance.

It’s an incredible thing.

An altruist’s edge

In my coaching practice, I often work with people who are altruists, who are also fantastically good at bringing people together. They are the queens and kings of party-throwing. They plan beautiful projects with dozens of people involved. They see these projects through till the end. And they sacrifice some of their own well-being for the sake of being of service to others. They see where our human society lacks justice, beauty and peace, and then they work hard to literally make this world a better place. They get things done. And they are over-worked and under-nourished when it comes to their heart’s deeper needs and desires.

If this is you, here’s an edge you are carrying around, probably without knowing it: You have such a deep longing for being with other people that you create elaborate experiences for others just so you can connect with with them – at the expense of your own time and energy.

The mere act of bringing people together – by inviting a diverse team of professionals to join you for a new project you just plucked out of your highly creative brain, or by having your friends come sit around your kitchen table at brunch – is highly fulfilling for you.

But the thought that you could connect with others “without a purpose” is probably deeply uncomfortable for you.

Imagine you would meet with someone just to spend time with them.

To have coffee with a friend, with no other agenda than to chat for a while and to feel well in each other’s presence.

And to then not invite that friend over to your place.

To then also not pay for a whole party and invite all of your other friends, too.

To just say to someone: “Hey, I would love to see you. Are you free on Friday?”

And to not have this coffee date be about anything else but connection.

If you are feeling a psychological edge when you imagine going there: Good. Play with that edge. Feel its shape and size, and sense where this experience starts making you feel uncomfortable: As soon as you imagine calling your friend? When you imagine that there’s no deeper meaning behind that date, that you would just like to spend time with them? When you imagine that you won’t be paying for your friend’s coffee, only for the one you are going to have, yourself?

Sense where you have a tendency to over-give, and where you feel uncomfortable around receiving the gift of spending time with someone you love.

And then call your friend anyway.

Let this be awkward.

You are trying something new.