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Martha Beck trained life coach

Healing your inner children

Healing yourself can start by healing your younger selves. Give your inner children – of all ages – the love and care and truth and beauty they were missing, growing up. Take their needs seriously, and let them share their strengths with you.

Ask your inner two-year-old about boundaries. She knows all about that No.

Let your inner four-year-old show you how her Guides, Angels and Healing Beings are helping her cope, in this strange world we are living in.

Let your inner seven-year-old decide who she wants to be friends with. She knows how to read her heart.

Ask your inner 12-year-old if she would like to share her deep thoughts with you.

And let your inner 17-year-old tell you about all the ways she would like to express her soul and herself.

Here’s another sweet practice you can try:

Use your imagination to build each of your younger selves a new home, and let them furnish and decorate their new places in any way they choose. Don’t judge them for what they want to put into their new rooms, and watch how they express themselves through interior design. See how they carefully place their most cherished items within reach, and sense-see-feel how much love goes into each decision. Let them make themselves comfortable, and give them room to explore and to change anything they like, as often as they like.

It’s your imagination, where everything is possible – and where your younger selves can fully be themselves.

Enjoy!

And if you need any help with this, let’s work together.
Helping your younger selves heal is part of what I do.

How to hold your inner strength

The more things are being driven into chaos all around us, the more important it is for each of us to be able to draw from our own inner strength. And because there is so much violence and fear that is getting swirled up, it can be difficult to access that kind of strength within ourselves.

Holding (and using) your spiritual strength is like the ability to control your breathing: It is like using all of those small muscles in your torso to draw in a full deep breath, expanding your ribcage and your belly, and to then let your lungs let out the air again, in a steady and controlled stream, until your solar plexus softens and gets ready to draw the next breath in.

Some energetic part of you knows how to pull your inner strength into yourself, how to hold it, and how to then release it and use it, in a very deliberate way.

For some of us, using our spiritual power means to hold our ground in a heated argument and to channel peace – even though we’re scared – and to direct all parties involved towards focusing on a specific solution to a specific problem. 

For some of us, using our spiritual power means to move with our creative instincts and to keep working on a project until it feels right, before we release it – even though fear would rather have us put out a half-finished version, instead, just to be done with it.

For some of us, using our spiritual power means to trust our intuitive senses and to gently hold space when our relationship grids are evolving into a new direction, even when our PTSD triggers would have us fall into fight, flight, freeze or fawn at the slightest sign of distress.

For many of us, it is very difficult to reconnect to that kind of inner strength.

We try to take a deep breath inwards, but our diaphragm keeps trembling, and it feels like our lungs are not filling up the way we would need them to.

And we try to push our fear-based stress responses against an ever-changing world, because we haven’t learned how to trust ourselves.

We can’t remember what it is like to let our spiritual muscles hold us, move us, keep us safe.

Try this

Developing your ability to draw from your inner spiritual strength takes practice. And you won’t be able to get there by yourself. We need each other to become ourselves. So, here are my two cents: A list of transformational practices that can help you hold your inner strength – and if you need support with any of those practices, contact me. It’s what I do. 

  • Develop a daily spiritual practice that makes sense to you, and keep it up.
  • Do the necessary healing work and release as much personal and collective trauma from your system as possible, until you feel like yourself again. This is the most difficult part. And unfortunately, it will cost you: Time, energy, money, sometimes relationships, and many illusions. 
  • Rebuild your personal boundaries – on an energetic level first, and then through action and words. Be mindful of what you will and won’t allow to happen in your relationships with other people, and be as good a friend to yourself as you are a friend to those you love.
  • Learn how to hold your personal space, and use your breath and your intent to regularly center and ground yourself into that line of light that flows up and down your spine, down through the heart of earth, and up through the center of your soul – in an endless loop, going up and down. It is your lifeline to the love and nourishment coming to you from Earth, and it is a direct hotline to your soul’s intuitive wisdom and power.
  • Get clear on who you are, at soul level, and then translate that expertise into your human life. This can be tricky, because we tend to be a bit blind to ourselves. So, find someone who can help you understand yourself. The clearer you get on who you are, the more you will be able to fully engage with your gifts and talents and bring them to life. 
  • Stay focused on your own experience, and stay close to the people you trust.
  • Keep building a world you would like to live in. And find a bigger cause you can support, outside of what you can do, as an individual.
  • Don’t get discouraged if you can “only” work on one single issue to help create a better world. That one single issue will touch many lives. Keep it up. Ask your soul to let you know how you can use your creativity to unfold that one single issue, in the best way possible, and then fill it with life.

Do you need help with any of these practices? Contact me. It’s all part of my work.

Image: One of my Symmetric Light Series pieces: Fresh greenery in front of a concrete wall
©️ Lilly Mackuth 2019

A state of overwhelm

Over the past couple of months, I have taken some time to learn more about nervous system regulation, which can help to address states of shut-down and burn-out, triggered by chronic stress or PTSD.

And the more I learned, the more I could sense the deep feeling of overwhelm that seems to paralyse and frighten so many of us, sending us into low energy states and shut-down, or hightened energy states and burn-out, when it comes to the current developments on this planet. Some call it a “trauma-spell”, and it affects individuals as well as the collective.

We feel overwhelmed when it comes to the current crash of our natural environment, we feel overwhelmed when we observe the current political shifts towards far-right extremism, and on top of it all, there’s the overwhelm that shows up when we face difficulties in our personal lives – in our relationships with others, and in our relationship with ourselves.

And the more I learned about the energetic expressions of that overwhelm, the more I could also sense that working towards establishing a sense of self-trust, equilibrium and solution-orientedness can seem utterly impossible, when you’re in the thick of it.

Which is why, in every one of my client Sessions, I consciously apply Yogic meditative tools at the beginning of each Session (and sometimes throughout) to help my client get into a state of balance and ease, in order to help them tune into their intuitive guidance system.

Because in that state of balance, where we have access to our #innerwisdomsystem – that’s where we can sense-see solutions to what is keeping us shut down, or burned out. That’s where clarity lives.

Some simple self-regulating tools

When you find yourself in such a state of overwhelm, there are two quite simple things you can try: Singing, and dancing. Both singing and dancing can help to regulate low energy states and shut-down (i.e. hypoarousal), as well as hightened energy states and burn-out (i.e. hyperarousal).*

When you’re in a low energy state (i.e. when your autonomic nervous system feels frozen and shut down), your mind may be thinking thoughts like “I don’t know what to do, I don’t know where to start, it’s all too much”. Your body may feel paralysed and your head is probably quite foggy, eyelids heavy, focus: gone.

Try dancing.

It’s the simplest way to bring some warmth into your frozenness. If dancing seems to be too much of a stretch, start by wiggling your toes to a piece of music. HipHop or R&B are perfect for this. Get one part of your body to move to the music, then another. If you can, stand up and rhythmically shift your weight from one leg to the other, and back again. Left and right, left and right. Keep your knees slightly bent, and let your body become one with the rhythm. Keep moving, even if it’s difficult at first. Left, and right. Move for 10 minutes at a time, and see how you feel.

When you’re in a hightened energy state (i.e. when your autonomous nervous system is in fight-or-flight mode, racing towards burnout), you may be thinking thoughts like “There’s so much I need to do, I haven’t done enough, I can’t stop working, I have to do more”, and your body probably feels antsy and restless. Your eyes are wide open (too wide, actually), and your whole system feels stressed. Which is not the kind of mood that would usually have you burst into song. But that’s exactly what can help you get back into a state of equilibrium:

When you start to sing, you start to regulate your autonomic nervous system – if the style you’re singing in elongates your outward breath.

So, find a slow, gentle song that has you singing long phrases on long outward breaths. The mantra Ra Ma Da Sa by Snatam Kaur is perfect for this. Sing along for 10 minutes and see how you feel.

*P.S.: Obviously, these tips do not replace medical care nor therapy or healing modalities. Please contact your medical doctor, your mental healthcare specialist or your spiritual healer if your symptoms persist.

The Love-Trust-Respect Triangle

“Imagine a world where your closest relationships are built on Love-Trust-Respect. Now compare that world to your current reality. What do you see?” – #InnerWisdomSystem

In my work, I often come across an energetic triangle of love, trust and respect. It seems to build a solid foundation for our most precious relationships, and when one of its three building blocks is missing, things tend to feel a bit… wonky.

For example, if you are in a friendship where love is missing, you probably feel like you’re constantly negotiating business deals. Here’s what that could look like: Person C: “If you do X for me, I will do Y for you.” – Person D: “Ok, but only if you promise you won’t do Z in front of everybody.” Exhausting, no?

If you are in a romantic relationship where you don’t trust your partner, you might be suspicious of their motives. Imagine this dialogue: Person A: “Why would you go to that gig without me?” – Person B: “Why would you want to come? You don’t even like that kind of music.” A lack of trust creates this kind of tension. Deep trust would make A and B celebrate their differences.

If you are in a relationship that lacks respect, you won’t see one another clearly, and repeated anger patterns can become part of your conversations. An (exaggerated) version of this could sound like this: Person E: “I love you, I trust you, but really, I think you should be doing something else with your life.” – Person F: “Oh really? Look who’s talking! Like you were only ever happy in your career?!?” Respect sounds different.

Have a look at your closest personal relationships. Are the energies of love, trust and respect all present there? Can you sense that all three would like to support you?

How would you like to increase your capacity for love, trust and respect – within yourself, first, and then, also, within your various relationships?

How to love your differences

There’s a common problem that runs through many (love) relationships: That two people, who are very different from each other, feel stressed by being so different from each other.

Let’s say one of them is very spontaneous, has a thousand ideas, and wants to make every idea a reality, right away – no matter what.

And let’s say their partner is very calm and methodical, likes to plan ahead, and loves to apply their know-how in a very rational, diligent manner.

The problem starts when both of them try to adapt to each other. Person one will feel bad about their ideas, thinking they’re “too spontaneous”, and person two will feel like “the boring one” who constantly “overthinks things”.

The result: They both stop being there for each other, and they both feel like they’re not sexy enough for their partner.

Energetically, there’s a beautiful, elegant solution to this problem.

When you meditatively let yourself drop into the four mystical chambers of your heart, you can get a very direct, embodied experience of how you would really like to play, in your relationships.

(And I don’t mean your sex life – although your heart may give you some very detailed pieces of information about that part, too.)

Energetically, your heart can bring you to a place where you can be you, in a very relaxed way – and where you can keep being yourself, no matter who you’re with.

That’s because your heart deeply supports your individuality, and it can help you embody your individuality, fully.

Which means that once you have gone through this process inside your heart, your partner will experience you just the way you are. In all your glory.

Spoiler alert: You’re going to love being yourself.

If that sounds like something you would like to try:

My new Heart Truth program still has a couple of spots available, so if you would like to

  • get direct access to your inner truth
  • gain deep insights into the four big themes of your heart: Love, Wisdom, Strength and Vision
  • experience profound healing and transformation in these areas of your life
  • learn to love your individuality
  • and lay a foundation for being your own guide in these chaotic times,

my program might be for you.

Registration closes May 15, 2018* (the day after tomorrow).

Here are all the details.

And if you are interested, contact me here. We will start with a non-binding Intro Consultation via Zoom. (You won’t have to create your own account – all you need is a device that lets you do video conferences, e.g. your smart phone or a laptop that has a camera and a microphone.)

I look forward to our first conversation!

The wisdom of your heart

Your heart is such a fascinating thing. It’s the place within you where your earthly self and your eternal self meet. Its cells are part of nature, and its wisdom channels your soul.

It holds information that your third eye can decipher, but not provide for you. Your heart can download soul-guidance that nothing else can give you – no psychic reading, no book, no standardised personality test.

And if you know how to work with it, your heart can be your most trustworthy guide in these chaotic times.

I have created an 8-week, 4-Session, one-on-one coaching program around this, designed to give you direct access to your heart’s wisdom.

And its official launch is just a few tweaks and some beauty edits away. Stay tuned!

Love is not governed by the mind

The four subtle chambers of your heart hold deep wisdom for you. They also hold the patterns of your current relationship with love. And they know which energy medicine is needed in order for you to compassionately heal your relationship with love.

Hardly anyone of us grew up in an environment that was infused with actual love.

And the patterns our ancestors laid out before us do not work for the times we are living in.

Love is not governed by the mind, and yet, our minds often try to convince us that there must be a reasonable step-by-step guide that we can follow to be in love, and that there surely is such a thing as a “proven method” for us to master this game, once and for all.

The heart knows another way. It would like to take you inwards and lead you on a much more subtle journey, on a much more mystical ride than the mind would like love to be. The mind’s tools do not work in this realm.

To love and be loved means to let your heart lead you. And it means to be in true relationship with yourself, with the ones you want to spend your time with, and with the world as such – as brutal as it is, sometimes.

Contact me if you’d be interested in exploring the four mystical chambers of your heart and go on this ancient healing journey with me. I would be honoured to serve you in this way.

Truth feels like Relief

One of the biggest AHA moments many of my clients get when they start working with me is that truth feels like relief – even if it seems painful, at first.

There’s a complex mental avoidance mechanism going on when we do not want to see the full truth of a situation, which can create chronic stress symptoms – for example when we want to avoid addressing trauma or adverse childhood experiences. This avoidance mechanism is a protection process that tries to keep our assumptions about life as unchanging as possible, because this part of us is trying to keep us “safe”.

However, addressing the truth about what really happened, or the truth about how life really is, instead of sugarcoating it, actually feels like a relief.

And yet, because we are trained to avoid certain truths, we are afraid of what might happen if these sugarcoated truths were revealed.

For example, in relationships, we often have a “gut feeling” about someone when we don’t fully trust them. And yet, since most of us were raised to be polite, we often choose not to go with that gut feeling, and to stay polite, instead.

So, we are trying to make things work with that person – to literally STAY, politely, instead of leaving – even though our body mirrors back to us that we do not trust them.

Allowing yourself to examine that intuitive body mirror will always reveal very valid reasons for why your body does not trust that person.

And revealing that truth is the relief your body aches for. It is the clarity of being able to let go of someone, even if, on paper, that someone might have been perfect.

Your body knows if they aren’t.

Trust that knowing.

If you need any help with deciphering the messages your body mirrors back at you, contact me for a free Intro Conversation. This is the work that I do.

A personal note

Life gets easier when you can see yourself.

This turned out to be my theme for 2017, and it will be my one of my guiding principles for 2018.

And it’s also the tag line for my brand new website.

Over the past few months, I went after an old dream and worked with some seriously talented creatives – Evan Leah Quinn and Ines Njers – who helped me refine my online aesthetic into something that truly feels like me. And I am absolutely stunned by the results.

Hire Evan if you are looking for someone with intuitive branding skills who will create a website design for you that feels right. Evan is talented, intuitive, whip smart, and her work is always thoroughly mapped out, ahead of time – which made my German structured mind feel right at home.

And let Ines take your pictures if you want to feel like a model. Her talent for catching someone’s personality with her camera is absolutely priceless.

Thank you, Evan and Ines! It’s been a dream!

Branding & Website: Evan Leah Quinn of SixteenJuly

Portraits: Ines Njers 

Crises are a natural part of life

Do you cut your own hair? I’m guessing you let a professional stylist do that job.

Do you manage your finances all by yourself? I’m assuming you have at least one person who helps you make sense of your numbers.

Do you provide your own entertainment? Presumably, you’re enjoying the work of professional artists when you netflix at night.

So why would you not also hire a professional to help you dissolve all those big and small relationship crises that are a natural part of life?

You don’t have to go through this alone.

Contact me if you’d like some help.

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