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An Altruist’s edge

In my coaching practice, I often work with people who are altruists, who are also fantastically good at bringing people together. They are the queens and kings of party-throwing. They plan beautiful projects with dozens of people involved. They see these projects through till the end. And they sacrifice some of their own well-being for the sake of being of service to others. They see where our human society lacks justice, beauty and peace, and then they work hard to literally make this world a better place. They get things done. And they are over-worked and under-nourished when it comes to their heart’s deeper needs and desires.
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If this is you, here’s an edge you are carrying around, probably without knowing it: 
You have such a deep longing for connecting with other people that you create experiences for others just to connect with them – at the expense of your own time and energy.

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How to love your differences

There’s a common problem that runs through many (love) relationships: That two people, who are very different from each other, feel stressed by being so different from each other.
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Let’s say one of them is very spontaneous, has a thousand ideas, and wants to make every idea a reality, right away – no matter what.
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And let’s say their partner is very calm and methodical, likes to plan ahead, and loves to apply their know-how in a very rational, diligent manner.

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Love is not governed by the mind

The four subtle chambers of your heart hold deep wisdom for you. They also hold the patterns of your current relationship with love. And they know which energy medicine is needed in order for you to compassionately heal your relationship with love.
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Hardly anyone of us grew up in an environment that was infused with actual love.
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And the patterns our ancestors laid out before us do not work for the times we are living in.
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Love is not governed by the mind, and yet, our minds often try to convince us that there must be a reasonable step-by-step guide that we can follow to be in love, and that there surely is such a thing as a “proven method” for us to master this game, once and for all.

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Truth feels like Relief

One of the biggest AHA moments many of my clients get when they start working with me is that truth feels like relief – even if it seems painful, at first.
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There’s a complex mental avoidance mechanism going on when we do not want to see the full truth of a situation, which can create chronic stress symptoms – for example when we want to avoid addressing trauma or adverse childhood experiences. This avoidance mechanism is a protection process that tries to keep our assumptions about life as unchanging as possible, because this part of us is trying to keep us “safe”.
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However, addressing the truth about what really happened, or the truth about how life really is, instead of sugarcoating it, actually feels like a relief.

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Relationships are like Ecosystems

The best relationships are a bit like benevolent ecosystems: When you are embedded in a cooperative ecosystem of souls that are compatible and familiar with your own soul, you thrive like an orchid living on a big beautiful tree in the middle of an ancient intact rain forest.
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In other words: Your soul has soul-siblings and soul-partners (romantic, and otherwise) that you intimately know how to work with, live with, love with, before you are formally introduced here on this planet.
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And when the two of you meet, as humans, it’s like a spiritual element of your life clicks into place that was missing before.

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