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How to love your differences

There’s a common problem that runs through many (love) relationships: That two people, who are very different from each other, feel stressed by being so different from each other.

Let’s say one of them is very spontaneous, has a thousand ideas, and wants to make every idea a reality, right away – no matter what.

And let’s say their partner is very calm and methodical, likes to plan ahead, and loves to apply their know-how in a very rational, diligent manner.

The problem starts when both of them try to adapt to each other. Person one will feel bad about their ideas, thinking they’re “too spontaneous”, and person two will feel like “the boring one” who constantly “overthinks things”.

The result: They both stop being there for each other, and they both feel like they’re not sexy enough for their partner.

Energetically, there’s a beautiful, elegant solution to this problem.

When you meditatively let yourself drop into the four mystical chambers of your heart, you can get a very direct, embodied experience of how you would really like to play, in your relationships.

(And I don’t mean your sex life – although your heart may give you some very detailed pieces of information about that part, too.)

Energetically, your heart can bring you to a place where you can be you, in a very relaxed way – and where you can keep being yourself, no matter who you’re with.

That’s because your heart deeply supports your individuality, and it can help you embody your individuality, fully.

Which means that once you have gone through this process inside your heart, your partner will experience you just the way you are. In all your glory.

Spoiler alert: You’re going to love being yourself.

If that sounds like something you would like to try:

My new Heart Truth program still has a couple of spots available, so if you would like to

  • get direct access to your inner truth
  • gain deep insights into the four big themes of your heart: Love, Wisdom, Strength and Vision
  • experience profound healing and transformation in these areas of your life
  • learn to love your individuality
  • and lay a foundation for being your own guide in these chaotic times,

my program might be for you.

Registration closes May 15, 2018* (the day after tomorrow).

Here are all the details.

And if you are interested, contact me here. We will start with a non-binding Intro Consultation via Zoom. (You won’t have to create your own account – all you need is a device that lets you do video conferences, e.g. your smart phone or a laptop that has a camera and a microphone.)

I look forward to our first conversation!

Truth feels like Relief

One of the biggest AHA moments many of my clients get when they start working with me is that truth feels like relief – even if it seems painful, at first.

There’s a complex mental avoidance mechanism going on when we do not want to see the full truth of a situation, which can create chronic stress symptoms – for example when we want to avoid addressing trauma or adverse childhood experiences. This avoidance mechanism is a protection process that tries to keep our assumptions about life as unchanging as possible, because this part of us is trying to keep us “safe”.

However, addressing the truth about what really happened, or the truth about how life really is, instead of sugarcoating it, actually feels like a relief.

And yet, because we are trained to avoid certain truths, we are afraid of what might happen if these sugarcoated truths were revealed.

For example, in relationships, we often have a “gut feeling” about someone when we don’t fully trust them. And yet, since most of us were raised to be polite, we often choose not to go with that gut feeling, and to stay polite, instead.

So, we are trying to make things work with that person – to literally STAY, politely, instead of leaving – even though our body mirrors back to us that we do not trust them.

Allowing yourself to examine that intuitive body mirror will always reveal very valid reasons for why your body does not trust that person.

And revealing that truth is the relief your body aches for. It is the clarity of being able to let go of someone, even if, on paper, that someone might have been perfect.

Your body knows if they aren’t.

Trust that knowing.

If you need any help with deciphering the messages your body mirrors back at you, contact me for a free Intro Conversation. This is the work that I do.

Self-help not required

I think the term “self-help” is misleading.

I didn’t heal from any of my heartbreaks, crises, or chronic pain issues all by myself. And I don’t think anyone should have to.

We are doing ourselves a huge disservice if we try to make it on our own. Yes, reaching out to a professional coach for help – or to any professional, for that matter – is always a bit awkward, because the experience of connecting with someone who knows how to help you always creates a mirror image, almost tangibly, of who you are within your current crisis, big or small, and of who you might be when it’s all over.

And that dissonance between who you are now, in crisis, and who you would like to become once you’ve resolved your crisis often comes with a heaping dose of hopelessness. As in “Trying to get from here to there is just too damn hard…”

But that mirror image that any professional coach can give you also instantly reflects your beauty, your gifts, and your desires. Which means that you instantly gain more clarity and peace by identifying that truth within yourself.

Which then makes it so much easier to take the first step out of your crisis.

You don’t have to go through this alone.

Reach out.