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How to love your differences

There’s a common problem that runs through many (love) relationships: That two people, who are very different from each other, feel stressed by being so different from each other.

Let’s say one of them is very spontaneous, has a thousand ideas, and wants to make every idea a reality, right away – no matter what.

And let’s say their partner is very calm and methodical, likes to plan ahead, and loves to apply their know-how in a very rational, diligent manner.

The problem starts when both of them try to adapt to each other. Person one will feel bad about their ideas, thinking they’re “too spontaneous”, and person two will feel like “the boring one” who constantly “overthinks things”.

The result: They both stop being there for each other, and they both feel like they’re not sexy enough for their partner.

Energetically, there’s a beautiful, elegant solution to this problem.

When you meditatively let yourself drop into the four mystical chambers of your heart, you can get a very direct, embodied experience of how you would really like to play, in your relationships.

(And I don’t mean your sex life – although your heart may give you some very detailed pieces of information about that part, too.)

Energetically, your heart can bring you to a place where you can be you, in a very relaxed way – and where you can keep being yourself, no matter who you’re with.

That’s because your heart deeply supports your individuality, and it can help you embody your individuality, fully.

Which means that once you have gone through this process inside your heart, your partner will experience you just the way you are. In all your glory.

Spoiler alert: You’re going to love being yourself.

If that sounds like something you would like to try:

My new Heart Truth program still has a couple of spots available, so if you would like to

  • get direct access to your inner truth
  • gain deep insights into the four big themes of your heart: Love, Wisdom, Strength and Vision
  • experience profound healing and transformation in these areas of your life
  • learn to love your individuality
  • and lay a foundation for being your own guide in these chaotic times,

my program might be for you.

Registration closes May 15, 2018* (the day after tomorrow).

Here are all the details.

And if you are interested, contact me here. We will start with a non-binding Intro Consultation via Zoom. (You won’t have to create your own account – all you need is a device that lets you do video conferences, e.g. your smart phone or a laptop that has a camera and a microphone.)

I look forward to our first conversation!

New: The Heart Truth Process

It’s launch day!

My new one-on-one coaching program is ready for you! Click here for a short intro video, if you like.

My program, “The Heart Truth Process”, is designed for you to gain direct access to one particular part of your #innerwisdomsystem: Your heart.

Energetically speaking, its four chambers represent four big themes in your life: Love (both romantic and platonic), your Applied Wisdom, your True Strength and the Big Vision of your life.

And the goal of my program is to help you tune into these four chambers and let your heart be your guide when it comes to these four big themes in your life.

So, if that resonates with you, have a look at my new Heart Truths page.

The first 6 one-on-one spots are available for May and June – but before you make a decision, let’s meet for a free, non-binding Intro Conversation where we can get to know each other and you can ask me anything about the program.

All you’ll need for that is a device that lets you do video conferences, i.e. your laptop or a smart phone.

Looking forward to our first conversation!

Truth feels like Relief

One of the biggest AHA moments many of my clients get when they start working with me is that truth feels like relief – even if it seems painful, at first.

There’s a complex mental avoidance mechanism going on when we do not want to see the full truth of a situation, which can create chronic stress symptoms – for example when we want to avoid addressing trauma or adverse childhood experiences. This avoidance mechanism is a protection process that tries to keep our assumptions about life as unchanging as possible, because this part of us is trying to keep us “safe”.

However, addressing the truth about what really happened, or the truth about how life really is, instead of sugarcoating it, actually feels like a relief.

And yet, because we are trained to avoid certain truths, we are afraid of what might happen if these sugarcoated truths were revealed.

For example, in relationships, we often have a “gut feeling” about someone when we don’t fully trust them. And yet, since most of us were raised to be polite, we often choose not to go with that gut feeling, and to stay polite, instead.

So, we are trying to make things work with that person – to literally STAY, politely, instead of leaving – even though our body mirrors back to us that we do not trust them.

Allowing yourself to examine that intuitive body mirror will always reveal very valid reasons for why your body does not trust that person.

And revealing that truth is the relief your body aches for. It is the clarity of being able to let go of someone, even if, on paper, that someone might have been perfect.

Your body knows if they aren’t.

Trust that knowing.

If you need any help with deciphering the messages your body mirrors back at you, contact me for a free Intro Conversation. This is the work that I do.

Relationships are like ecosystems

The best relationships are a bit like symbiotic ecosystems: When you are embedded in a cooperative ecosystem of souls that are compatible and familiar with your own soul, you thrive like an orchid living on a big beautiful tree in the middle of an ancient intact rain forest.

In other words: Your soul has soul-siblings and soul-partners (romantic, and otherwise) that you intimately know how to work with, live with, love with, before you are formally introduced here on this planet.

And when the two of you meet, as humans, it’s like a spiritual element of your life clicks into place that was missing before.

However, Earth is big. And unfortunately, we rarely grow up right around the corner from our soul siblings and soul partners.

Which means that finding those people we naturally click with can be quite a bit of a challenge. Spiritually, energetically, and time-wise.

Also, as a western society, we are very much used to the drama of dysfunctional relationship patterns. So when we do meet those soul mates, the peace that is at the core of that new-familiar relationship can almost seem dull in comparison, at first.

We are so used to drama, in fact, that some of us are addicted to it.

If we haven’t encountered anyone from our own familiar ecosystem yet, we tend to think that drama is a natural part of all love relationships, all friendships, all business partnerships, all cooperations.

And yet. As soon as you do meet someone your soul knows and likes, you will notice that the peace at the core of that relationship actually feels like freedom, freshness, and curiosity.

Because getting to know your soul mate on a human level is seriously interesting stuff.

You don’t know what their current body feels like. You don’t know what their current heart wants. You don’t know how their mind works, in this lifetime, and you don’t know their preferences and perspectives, at all. There’s a whole lifetime of interests you can discover together.

So, if you are unsure whether that one particular relationship in your life is based on a soul connection, feel free to contact me. Helping you understand your personal relationship systems is part of the work that I do.

Put your gifts into action

Your human nature and your unique soul patterns hold gifts for you that are independent of all of the social markers that we usually see when we look at ourselves. Underneath your status, your line of work, your gender, your culture, and your beliefs, you are equipped with unique strengths and gifts.

But all of those gifts mean nothing unless you put them into action.

Maybe you know how to steer a difficult conversation towards peace, and how to build a sustainable network of relationships that are rooted in justice and love.

Maybe you know how to ask the right questions – questions that help somebody else understand what their system needs in order to feel good. (That’s one of my gifts, btw.)

Maybe you know how to get people to work as a team, and how to pull all of their strengths together to create the most elegant outcomes for the most difficult projects.

Whatever they are, your unique gifts naturally start to flow through you once you are aligned with the core of your being. Your soul’s gifts have been with you for many lifetimes, and nobody taught you how to work them. You just know how to use them – intuitively, even when you’re half asleep – once you are in a state of self-trust.

And the world needs your unique gifts right now. Put them into action. It’s time. And it doesn’t matter if you make a big career out of them, or if you “only” use your gifts in your personal life. Just don’t ignore them, please. Ignorance is boring.

If you need any help with this, let’s talk. I’m here to help.

Crises are a natural part of life

Do you cut your own hair? I’m guessing you let a professional stylist do that job.

Do you manage your finances all by yourself? I’m assuming you have at least one person who helps you make sense of your numbers.

Do you provide your own entertainment? Presumably, you’re enjoying the work of professional artists when you netflix at night.

So why would you not also hire a professional to help you dissolve all those big and small relationship crises that are a natural part of life?

You don’t have to go through this alone.

Contact me if you’d like some help.

Self-help not required

I think the term “self-help” is misleading.

I didn’t heal from any of my heartbreaks, crises, or chronic pain issues all by myself. And I don’t think anyone should have to.

We are doing ourselves a huge disservice if we try to make it on our own. Yes, reaching out to a professional coach for help – or to any professional, for that matter – is always a bit awkward, because the experience of connecting with someone who knows how to help you always creates a mirror image, almost tangibly, of who you are within your current crisis, big or small, and of who you might be when it’s all over.

And that dissonance between who you are now, in crisis, and who you would like to become once you’ve resolved your crisis often comes with a heaping dose of hopelessness. As in “Trying to get from here to there is just too damn hard…”

But that mirror image that any professional coach can give you also instantly reflects your beauty, your gifts, and your desires. Which means that you instantly gain more clarity and peace by identifying that truth within yourself.

Which then makes it so much easier to take the first step out of your crisis.

You don’t have to go through this alone.

Reach out.

Everything speaks.

Everything speaks.

Do you trust your inner voice? You’re not alone if you don’t. My mind used to be inundated with so many different opinions that for a long time, I had a hard time hearing myself, in there.

My brain was flooded with the sound waves of “expert-voices”.

The assertive phrases of some books I had read had filled up entire areas of my mind.

There were one-liners certain people of my past had left in there that were like annoying little gnats, buzzing in my ears from time to time, just to make sure I didn’t forget about their opinionated presence.

And some assumptions that had formed in early childhood were like huge humming fog-horns: Repeatedly, they would out-blast every new thought wave my mind was trying to form.

Until I learned how to pick up the frequencies of me, underneath all that excess sound.

Everything speaks. Your body speaks. Your emotions speak. Your inner children speak. Even your future self does.

And I don’t mean that in a metaphorical way: You can literally tune into your body and hear what it has to say.

Try this:

Breathe into the area of your body that currently feels the most discomfort. Now open up your inner senses, lovingly turn towards that discomfort, and start asking simple questions, one at a time:

“What do you need?”

“How can I help you?”

“Do you have a message for me?”

Listen.

Breathe.

Listen some more.

And if this exercise feels difficult to do, please feel free to reach out for a non-binding Intro Conversation with me. I’m here to help.